Tales of St. Austin'sWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Tales of St. Austin's
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Schools -- Fiction
'Well, as far as I can see,' said Walkinshaw, 'we ought to have a
rather good season, if you'd only hurry up and come back. We beat a
jolly hot lot of All Comers yesterday. Smith was playing for them. The
Blue, you know. And lots of others. We got a goal and a try to
_nil_.'
'Good,' said Grey. 'Who did anything for us? Who scored?'
'I got in once. Payne got the other.'
'By Jove, did he? What sort of a game is he playing this year?'
The moment had come for Walkinshaw to unburden himself to his scheme.
He proceeded to do so.
'Not up to much,' he said. 'Look here, Grey, I've got rather an idea.
It's my opinion Payne's not bucking up nearly as much as he might. Do
you mind if I leave him out of the next game?'
Grey stared. The idea was revolutionary.
'What! Leave him out? My good man, he'll be the next chap to get his
colours. He's a cert. for his cap.'
'That's just it. He knows he's a cert., and he's slacking on the
strength of it. Now, my idea is that if you slung him out for a match
or two, he'd buck up extra hard when he came into the team again. Can't
I have a shot at it?'
Grey weighed the matter. Walkinshaw pressed home his arguments.
'You see, it isn't like cricket. At cricket, of course, it might put a
chap off awfully to be left out, but I don't see how it can hurt a
man's play at footer. Besides, he's beginning to stick on side
already.'
'Is he, by Jove?' said Grey. This was the unpardonable sin. 'Well, I'll
tell you what you can do if you like. Get up a scratch game, First
Fifteen _v._ Second, and make him captain of the Second.'
'Right,' said Walkinshaw, and retired beaming.
Walkinshaw, it may be remarked at once, to prevent mistakes, was a
well-meaning idiot. There was no doubt about his being well-meaning.
Also, there was no doubt about his being an idiot. He was continually
getting insane ideas into his head, and being unable to get them out
again. This matter of Payne was a good example of his customary
methods. He had put his hand on the one really first-class forward St
Austin's possessed, and proposed to remove him from the team. And yet
through it all he was perfectly well-meaning. The fact that personally
he rather disliked Payne had, to do him justice, no weight at all with
him. He would have done the same by his bosom friend under like
circumstances. This is the only excuse that can be offered for him. It
was true that Payne regarded himself as a certainty for his colours, as
far as anything can be considered certain in this vale of sorrow. But
to accuse him of trading on this, and, to use the vernacular, of
putting on side, was unjust to a degree.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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