One day it chanced that a mule I was riding stumbled over a piece
of timber and threw me, somewhat injuring my right leg, so that I
had to lay up for a little while. I urged my dear one not to let my
enforced imprisonment--which I was assured would only be of a few
days’ duration--prevent her from taking her accustomed exercise. She
said that she should remain by my side; but, oh, poor blind being
that I was, the fiend prompted me to insist that she should go out
and enjoy herself. It was not the custom of the country for ladies to
go out alone, but in Juliette’s case the circumstances were somewhat
different. Firstly, her father, who had travelled a good deal, had
brought her up more in the English fashion, and she was accorded
vastly more liberty than is generally accorded to Brazilian girls. And
secondly, she had proved herself so useful in the orchid branch of her
father’s business that he had allowed her to do much as she liked; and
she had on more than one occasion gone out with some of the hunters
into the very depths of the virgin forests, braving all the terrible
dangers incidental to the pursuit of the blooms, and braving the
hardships inseparable from it. In many ways Juliette was a wonderful
woman. She was as clever as she was beautiful, and I who pen these
lines declare solemnly that she was without a fault. Of course you will
say I speak with a lover’s enthusiasm. Very well, let it be so. But I
think of her, and I see her, as an angel of God, with the golden light
of heaven upon her wings. In the first hours of my awful sorrow, when
my heart was rent in twain and my poor brain was bursting, I think I
cursed God, and called impiously upon Heaven to justify the act which
plunged me suddenly from the happiest man on earth to the depths of a
blank, maddening, damnable despair. But Heaven was silent, and God in
His infinite wisdom let me suffer until the awful revelation was made
to me which I shall presently record. Then I bowed my head and prayed
to Him to smite me. But I lived. And it is only now, when long years
have passed, and I draw nearer and nearer to the hour when I shall take
my departure to my love, who waits for me with outstretched arms on
heaven’s frontiers, that I am able to write calmly and think calmly.
In this necessarily brief record I have shown no disposition to
moralise; but I would venture to observe here that some lives are
mysteries from their beginning to their end. The majority of people
perhaps lead common, humdrum, vulgar, unemotional lives. And they die,
never having known what it is to live; but few I fancy could be found
who will venture to deny that in the words of the great English poet,
‘There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our
philosophy.’ We are after all but poor weak things, with but a limited
vision, and to few only is it given to pierce the veil that screens us
from Sheol. But to return to the thread of my story.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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