Tales of the Jazz AgeFitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
General
Tales of the Jazz Age
Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott)
Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Mr. Button’s eyes followed her pointing finger, and this is what he
saw. Wrapped in a voluminous white blanket, and partly crammed into
one of the cribs, there sat an old man apparently about seventy years
of age. His sparse hair was almost white, and from his chin dripped a
long smoke-coloured beard, which waved absurdly back and forth, fanned
by the breeze coming in at the window. He looked up at Mr. Button with
dim, faded eyes in which lurked a puzzled question.
“Am I mad?” thundered Mr. Button, his terror resolving into rage. “Is
this some ghastly hospital joke?
“It doesn’t seem like a joke to us,” replied the nurse severely. “And
I don’t know whether you’re mad or not--but that is most certainly
your child.”
The cool perspiration redoubled on Mr. Button’s forehead. He closed
his eyes, and then, opening them, looked again. There was no
mistake--he was gazing at a man of threescore and ten--a _baby_
of threescore and ten, a baby whose feet hung over the sides of the
crib in which it was reposing.
The old man looked placidly from one to the other for a moment, and
then suddenly spoke in a cracked and ancient voice. “Are you my
father?” he demanded.
Mr. Button and the nurse started violently.
“Because if you are,” went on the old man querulously, “I wish you’d
get me out of this place--or, at least, get them to put a comfortable
rocker in here.”
“Where in God’s name did you come from? Who are you?” burst out Mr.
Button frantically.
“I can’t tell you _exactly_ who I am,” replied the querulous
whine, “because I’ve only been born a few hours--but my last name is
certainly Button.”
“You lie! You’re an impostor!”
The old man turned wearily to the nurse. “Nice way to welcome a
new-born child,” he complained in a weak voice. “Tell him he’s wrong,
why don’t you?”
“You’re wrong, Mr. Button,” said the nurse severely. “This is your
child, and you’ll have to make the best of it. We’re going to ask you
to take him home with you as soon as possible--some time to-day.”
“Home?” repeated Mr. Button incredulously.
“Yes, we can’t have him here. We really can’t, you know?”
“I’m right glad of it,” whined the old man. “This is a fine place to
keep a youngster of quiet tastes. With all this yelling and howling, I
haven’t been able to get a wink of sleep. I asked for something to
eat”--here his voice rose to a shrill note of protest--“and they
brought me a bottle of milk!”
Mr. Button, sank down upon a chair near his son and concealed his face
in his hands. “My heavens!” he murmured, in an ecstasy of horror.
“What will people say? What must I do?”
“You’ll have to take him home,” insisted the nurse--“immediately!”
A grotesque picture formed itself with dreadful clarity before the
eyes of the tortured man--a picture of himself walking through the
crowded streets of the city with this appalling apparition stalking by
his side.
“I can’t. I can’t,” he moaned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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