Tales of the Long BowChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
Tales of the Long Bow
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
If this was Mr. Hood’s hope, it was ill-founded and destined to
disappointment. A scene was but a faint description of what was in
store for that hopeful gentleman. Within ten minutes the greater part
of the company were in a world in which the sun and moon seemed to have
turned topsy-turvy and the last limit of unlikelihood had been reached.
Pierce had imagined he was very near that limit of the imagination when
he groped after the vanishing temple in the dark forest. But nothing he
had seen in that darkness and solitude was so fantastic as what he saw
next in broad daylight in a crowd.
At one extreme edge of the crowd there was a sudden movement--a wave
of recoil and wordless cries. The next moment it had swept like a wind
over the whole populace, and hundreds of faces were turned in one
direction--in the direction of the road that descended by a gradual
slope towards the woods that fringed the vicarage grounds. Out of those
woods at the foot of the hill had emerged something that might from its
size have been a large light grey omnibus. But it was not an omnibus.
It scaled the slope so swiftly, in great strides, that it became
instantly self-evident what it was. It was an elephant, whose monstrous
form was moulded in grey and silver in the sunlight, and on whose back
sat very erect a vigorous middle-aged gentleman in black clerical
attire, with blanched hair and a rather fierce aquiline profile that
glanced proudly to left and right.
The police inspector managed to make one step forward, and then stood
like a statue. The vicar, on his vast steed, sailed into the middle of
the marketplace as serenely as if he had been the master of a familiar
circus. He pointed in triumph to one of the red and blue posters on the
wall, which bore the traditional title of “White Elephant Sale.”
“You see I’ve kept my word,” he said to the lady in a loud, cheerful
voice. “I’ve brought a white elephant.”
The next moment he had waved his hand hilariously in another direction,
having caught sight of Hood and Crane in the crowd.
“Splendid of you to come!” he called out. “Only you were in the secret.
I told you I’d got a white elephant.”
“So he did,” said Hood; “only it never occurred to us that the elephant
was an elephant and not a metaphor. So that’s what he meant by Asiatic
atmosphere and snow and mountains. And that’s what the big shed was
really for.”
“Look here,” said the inspector, recovering from his astonishment and
breaking in on these felicitations. “I don’t understand all these
games, but it’s my business to ask a few questions. Sorry to say it,
sir, but you’ve ignored our notifications and evaded our attempts
to----”
“Have I?” inquired Mr. White brightly. “Have I really evaded you? Well,
well, perhaps I have. An elephant is such a standing temptation to
evasion, to evanescence, to fading away like a dewdrop. Like a snowdrop
perhaps would be more appropriate. Come on, Snowdrop.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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