"But, my sweet Winifred, to die is the doom of all created beings.
Many have loved before; and of all who have ever loved, one must
survive. It is a sad, it is a painful truth; but it is a most plain
and undeniable one. Then why should not this be borne as patiently as
the same bereavement by any other means? A long illness would reconcile
you to the event! and yet would you wish me to endure lengthened
bodily ills? Should you not rather rejoice that I shall thus be spared
all the protracted sufferings of sickness, and that, comparatively
speaking, I shall thus be exempted from the pains of death; that I
shall pass from earth with all my intellects unimpaired, in the full
enjoyment of my faculties! Could there be any satisfaction in marking
the decaying mind, the enfeebled spirit, the soul waxing weak, as the
body sinks under the effects of some wasting malady? Yet how often has
the most devoted affection watched all these humiliating and painful
harbingers of death, till the mourner has been brought to look upon the
dreaded bereavement almost in the light of a blessing? But is there any
consolation in this? Would one not rather choose that the memory of the
departed should be undimmed, unpolluted by the recollection of mortal
decay?"
"Your words are beautiful! I love to hear your voice! it thrills like
music through my heart! The thoughts are noble, lofty, pure, and holy;
but they persuade me not! As I gaze on you, as I listen to you, I only
feel the more, that life without you is not life: it is a blank!--a
dark and dreary chasm into which I dare not look: that I must, must
save you; and that if you love me, you will give heed to me, and that
you will agree to what I shall propose."
"Oh, Winifred! this is cruel kindness. It is cruel to wean me from the
thoughts of death, which I have almost taught myself to love, to lure
me back to those of life, which, alas! possesses only too many charms
for me!"
There was a tenderness in the tone and the manner which gave her hope
that she had worked upon him. She felt that love for her, and pity for
her sorrows, might at this moment induce him to listen; and she opened
to him the plan she had formed for his escape.
But she had scarcely detailed her proposed measures, when he vehemently
refused to engage in what he thought could not be carried into
execution without compromising others. Desperate at the ill-success
which attended her efforts, she abandoned herself to grief: she strove
not to control her feelings; she wrung her hands, she wept in hopeless
agony.
Meanwhile he paced the apartment in anguish not less acute. He accused
himself of cruelty towards her when he witnessed her desperation; and
yet he could not bring himself to agree to measures which he deemed
degrading, and in the success of which he placed little reliance.
Such moments comprise a greater sum of suffering than is spread over
many a common life. At length he stopped before her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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