When, as among the lower orders, the provision necessary for existence
is at stake, the most tender regrets must often be mixed up with other
considerations; but Susan could not yet comprehend any sorrow but that
of losing the lover of her youth. "Never trouble your head about me in
that way, mother; I don't care nor think anything about such matters."
"That's all very well for young folks who have always had their
fathers' roof over their heads," interposed Nicholas, "and a bit to eat
as long as their parents had it; but it is the duty of parents to look
forward for their children. You will find it very different when we
are in our graves, and you have to find yourself board and lodging and
everything. It frets me so, sometimes, I can't go to sleep! I and my
old woman used often to say we should be at rest when we were beneath
the sod, and we did not care how soon our time came; but now I quite
dread to think we may be taken any day."
"And so may I, father, be taken any day. It often happens that the
youngest goes first; and as 'tis all in the hands of Providence, there
is no need for you to make yourself unhappy about me in that way.
Besides, who knows but God may raise me up friends if my time of need
should ever come?--It is not my board nor my lodging that troubles me,"
she could not help adding with an irrepressible expression of grief.
"Ah! I know what 'tis that troubles you. 'Tis just what I am often
thinking of. In my affliction I have a kind helpmate to cheer me, and
keep up my spirits, and save me from ever feeling lonesome; and I have
you, Susan, and I love to listen to your voice, though it has not its
cheerful tone, and though I never hear the laugh that used to make
my heart glad within me. You, my poor girl, you can never have these
comforts, and that weighs upon my mind, though I do not like to say
much about it."
"It can't be helped, father, and I hope I submit as I should. It has
pleased God to visit me as He has done, and I am sure I have done no
more than my duty in not letting George burthen himself with me for a
wife."
"Yes, yes, it is all right; you have done your duty, that's certain."
"And when we have done that, we must leave the rest to Providence."
Mr. Otley called soon afterwards with some of the worsted which he was
now in the constant habit of procuring for Susan. Dame Foster took
the opportunity of getting her mind enlightened concerning annuities,
and friendly societies, and all the other modes of provision for the
poor which were established at Turnholme. But all required a larger
monthly sum, or a more considerable deposit, than they could possibly
contrive to pay. "I wish, Mr. Otley," said Susan, "you could persuade
father and mother not to think so much about me; if 'tis anything about
themselves, they always say we should rely on Providence: tell them
they should do so for me, as well as for themselves."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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