England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
his spirits. The Duke had a perfect digestion.
“I should define wealth,” murmured the Duke, between his yawns, “as an
unlimited command of the sources of _ennui_, rank as a satirical
emphasising of human equality, culture as a curtailment of pleasures,
knowledge as the death of interest.” Yawning again, he rose, drew up the
blind, and flung open the window. The summer night was fine and warm.
Although there were a couple of dozen other houses scattered here and
there about the lane, not a soul was to be seen. The Duke stood for a
long while looking out. His cigar burnt low and he flung it away.
Presently he heard a church clock strike eleven. At the same moment he
perceived a tall and burly figure approaching from the end of the lane.
Its approach was slow and interrupted, for it paused at every house. A
moment’s further inspection revealed in it a policeman on his beat.
“He’s trying the windows and doors,” remarked the Duke to himself. Then
his eyes brightened. “There are possibilities in a door always,” he
murmured, and his thoughts flew off to the great doors of history and
fiction--the doors that were locked when by all laws human and divine
they should have been open, and the even more interesting doors that
proved to be open and yielded to pressure when any man would have staked
his life on their being bolted, barred, and impregnable. “A door has the
interest of death,” said he. “For how can you know what is on the other
side till you have passed through it? Now suppose that fellow found a
door open, and passed through it, and, turning the rays of his lantern
on the darkness within, saw revealed to him--Heavens!” cried the Duke,
interrupting himself in great excitement, “is all this to be wasted on a
policeman?” And without a moment’s hesitation, he leant out of the
window and shouted, “Constable, constable!”--which is, as all the world
knows, the politest mode of addressing a policeman.
The policeman, perceiving the Duke and the urgency of the Duke’s
summons, left his examination of the doors in the lane and ran hastily
up to the window of the villa.
“Did you call, sir?” he asked.
“Don’t you know me?” inquired the Duke, turning a little, so that the
light within the room should fall on his features.
“I beg your Grace’s pardon,” cried the policeman. “Your Grace gave me a
sovereign last Christmas. The Duke of Belle-ville, isn’t it, your
Grace?”
“You will know,” said the Duke patiently, “how to pronounce my name when
I tell you that it rhymes with ‘Devil.’ Thus: ‘Devvle, Bevvle.’”
“Yes, your Grace. You called me?”
“I did. Do you often find doors open when they ought to be shut?”
“Almost every night, your Grace.”
“What do you do?”
“Knock, your Grace.”
“Good heavens,” murmured the Duke, “how this man throws away his
opportunities!” Then he leant forward, and laying his hand on the
policeman’s shoulder drew him nearer, and began to speak to him in a low
tone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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