Next day, some bales of cotton goods and a few cases of provisions
having been thrown on shore, the sardine-box steamer went off, not to
return for another six months. On the deck the director touched his cap
to the two agents, who stood on the bank waving their hats, and turning
to an old servant of the Company on his passage to headquarters, said,
“Look at those two imbeciles. They must be mad at home to send me such
specimens. I told those fellows to plant a vegetable garden, build new
storehouses and fences, and construct a landing-stage. I bet nothing
will be done! They won’t know how to begin. I always thought the station
on this river useless, and they just fit the station!”
“They will form themselves there,” said the old stager with a quiet
smile.
“At any rate, I am rid of them for six months,” retorted the director.
The two men watched the steamer round the bend, then, ascending arm in
arm the slope of the bank, returned to the station. They had been in
this vast and dark country only a very short time, and as yet always
in the midst of other white men, under the eye and guidance of their
superiors. And now, dull as they were to the subtle influences of
surroundings, they felt themselves very much alone, when suddenly left
unassisted to face the wilderness; a wilderness rendered more strange,
more incomprehensible by the mysterious glimpses of the vigorous life
it contained. They were two perfectly insignificant and incapable
individuals, whose existence is only rendered possible through the high
organization of civilized crowds. Few men realize that their life,
the very essence of their character, their capabilities and their
audacities, are only the expression of their belief in the safety of
their surroundings. The courage, the composure, the confidence; the
emotions and principles; every great and every insignificant thought
belongs not to the individual but to the crowd: to the crowd that
believes blindly in the irresistible force of its institutions and
of its morals, in the power of its police and of its opinion. But
the contact with pure unmitigated savagery, with primitive nature and
primitive man, brings sudden and profound trouble into the heart. To the
sentiment of being alone of one’s kind, to the clear perception of the
loneliness of one’s thoughts, of one’s sensations--to the negation
of the habitual, which is safe, there is added the affirmation of
the unusual, which is dangerous; a suggestion of things vague,
uncontrollable, and repulsive, whose discomposing intrusion excites the
imagination and tries the civilized nerves of the foolish and the wise
alike.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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