Night came, and Kayerts sat unmoving on his chair. He sat quiet as if
he had taken a dose of opium. The violence of the emotions he had passed
through produced a feeling of exhausted serenity. He had plumbed in one
short afternoon the depths of horror and despair, and now found repose
in the conviction that life had no more secrets for him: neither had
death! He sat by the corpse thinking; thinking very actively, thinking
very new thoughts. He seemed to have broken loose from himself
altogether. His old thoughts, convictions, likes and dislikes, things he
respected and things he abhorred, appeared in their true light at last!
Appeared contemptible and childish, false and ridiculous. He revelled
in his new wisdom while he sat by the man he had killed. He argued with
himself about all things under heaven with that kind of wrong-headed
lucidity which may be observed in some lunatics. Incidentally he
reflected that the fellow dead there had been a noxious beast
anyway; that men died every day in thousands; perhaps in hundreds of
thousands--who could tell?--and that in the number, that one death could
not possibly make any difference; couldn’t have any importance, at least
to a thinking creature. He, Kayerts, was a thinking creature. He had
been all his life, till that moment, a believer in a lot of nonsense
like the rest of mankind--who are fools; but now he thought! He knew! He
was at peace; he was familiar with the highest wisdom! Then he tried to
imagine himself dead, and Carlier sitting in his chair watching him; and
his attempt met with such unexpected success, that in a very few
moments he became not at all sure who was dead and who was alive. This
extraordinary achievement of his fancy startled him, however, and by
a clever and timely effort of mind he saved himself just in time from
becoming Carlier. His heart thumped, and he felt hot all over at the
thought of that danger. Carlier! What a beastly thing! To compose his
now disturbed nerves--and no wonder!--he tried to whistle a little.
Then, suddenly, he fell asleep, or thought he had slept; but at any rate
there was a fog, and somebody had whistled in the fog.
He stood up. The day had come, and a heavy mist had descended upon the
land: the mist penetrating, enveloping, and silent; the morning mist
of tropical lands; the mist that clings and kills; the mist white and
deadly, immaculate and poisonous. He stood up, saw the body, and threw
his arms above his head with a cry like that of a man who, waking from a
trance, finds himself immured forever in a tomb. “Help! . . . . My God!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account