I am inclined to think, however uncharitable my thinking may seem, that this is the chief cause of his fault. I think so because I have frequently noticed him saying as soon as he has begun, "Have not I told you this before?" and I have answered, "Yes, you have;" still he has gone on with the old yarn, telling it precisely in the same way as before; as the aforesaid instrument plays its old tunes without variation right through to the end. The affliction would not be so bad to bear if he cut his stories short; but, unfortunately, he does not, and I verily believe cannot, any more than the parson who has repeated his sermons a hundred times can curtail, or leave out some of the old to substitute new. Not only so; another addition to the burden one has to endure is, that he always repeats his stories with such apparent self-satisfaction--a smile here, a laugh there, a "ha-ha-ha" in another place; at the same time you feel he is a bore, and wish his old saws were a hundred miles away. One has been reminded, in hearing him talk, of what Menander says about the Dodonian brass, that if a man touched it only once it would continue ringing the whole day in the same monotonous tone. Thus this talker, touch him on the story-key, and he plays away until you are jaded in listening. "His copious stories, oftentimes begun, End without audience, and are never done." Is there a remedy for this talker? I fear not. He has practised so long--for he generally is sixty or seventy years old--that little hope can be entertained of his cure. He will have to _wear_ out. This, however, you can do for yourself; only go into his company _once_, and you will not be afflicted with his repetition; and if he would go into the same company only once, it would secure to him a more enduring reputation. Cowper, in his day, it would seem, met with such a talker as I have been describing. He thus refers to him:-- "Sedentary weavers of long tales Give me the fidgets, and my patience fails. 'Tis the most asinine employ on earth, To hear them tell of parentage and birth, And echo conversation dull and dry, Embellished, with, _He said and so said I_. At every interview their route the same, The repetition makes attention lame; We bustle up with unsuccessful speed, And in the saddest part cry, _Droll indeed!_" After thus expressing his own experience under the rod of this talker, he suggests the way in which he should exercise himself in his vocation:-- "A tale should be judicious, clear, succinct; The language plain, and incidents well linked; Tell not as new what everybody knows, And new or old still hasten to a close; There centring in a focus round and neat, Let all your rays of information meet. What neither yields us profit nor delight Is like a nurse's lullaby at night; Guy Earl of Warwick and fair Elenore, Or giant-killing Jack would please me more."