"We have been talking about you, talking a great deal, since you left
us, your guardian and I," Mr. Drew continued, and he looked at the one
of Karen's hands that was visible, emerging from the shawl to clasp her
elbow, the left hand with its wedding-ring, "and ludicrous as it may
seem to you, I can't but feel that I understand you a great deal better
than she does. She still thinks of you as a child--a child whose little
problems can be solved by facile solutions. Forgive me, I know it may
sound fatuous to you, but I see what she does not see, that you are a
suffering woman, and that for some problems there are no solutions." His
eyes now came back to hers and found them fixed on him with a wide
astonished gaze.
"Has my guardian asked you to say anything to me?" she said.
"No, not exactly that," said Mr. Drew, a little disconcerted by her tone
and look, while at the same time he was marvelling at the greater and
greater beauty he found in the impassive moonlit face--how had he been
so unconscionably stupid as not to see for so long how beautiful she
was!--"No, she certainly hasn't asked me to say anything to you. She is
going away, you know, to Italy; it's a sudden decision and she's been
telling me about it. I can't go with her. I don't think it a good plan.
I can stay on here, but I can't go to Italy. Perhaps she'll give it up.
She didn't find me altogether sympathetic and I'm afraid we've had
something of a disagreement. I am sure you've seen since you've been
here that if your guardian doesn't understand you she doesn't understand
me, either."
"But I cannot speak of my guardian to you," said Karen. She had kept her
eyes steadily upon him waiting to hear what he might have to say, but
now the thought of Tante in her rejected queenliness broke insufferably
upon her making her sick with pity. This man did not love Tante. She
rose as she spoke.
"Do not speak of her to me," she said.
"But we will not speak of her. I do not wish to speak of her," said Mr.
Drew, also rising, a stress of excitement and anxiety making itself felt
in his soft, sibilant, hurried tones; "I understand every exquisite
loyalty that hedges your path. And I'm hedged, too; you see that. Wait,
wait--please listen. We won't speak of her. What I want to speak of is
you. I want to ask you to make use of me. I want to ask you to trust me.
You love her, but how can you depend on her? She is a child, an
undisciplined, capricious child, and she is displeased with you,
seriously displeased. Who is there in the world you can depend on? You
are unutterably alone. And I ask you to turn to me."
Her frosty scrutiny disconcerted him. He had not touched her in the
least.
"These are things you cannot say to me," she said. "There is nothing
that you can do for me. I only know you as my guardian's friend; you
forgot that, I think, when you brought me here." She turned from him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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