“Well, it’s understood. We shall see each other to-morrow,” he said.
And with a smile of half raillery at her rather upset expression, he
left her. So much fuss about a little thing, such obstinacy in doing it!
What was the terrible thing? Meeting him! His smiling was only natural.
She showed without disguise in her face the hazardous quality, as she
considered it, of this consent. She would wish him to feel the largeness
of the motive that prompted her, and for him to participate too in the
certain horror of meeting himself!
CHAPTER VI
Back in her rooms, she examined, over her lunch, with stupefaction, the
things she had been doing—conversations, appointments, complementary
sensations, and all the rest, as she might have sat down before some
distinctly expensive, troubling purchase that she had not dreamt of
making an hour before. “What a strange proceeding!”—as it might have
been—“what sudden disease in my taste made me buy that!”
Had she been enveloped, in a way, by that idle Teutonically smiling
manner of his? But at the bottom of her (for her) dramatic consent was
the instantaneous image of Fräulein Lipmann and Company’s disapprobation.
The _carrying out_ and so substantiating her story, that notion turned
the scale. Kreisler’s easy manner (he _was_ unmistakably “a gentleman!”)
contrasted with her friend’s indignant palaver gave him the advantage. He
cannot, cannot have behaved _so_ outrageously as they pretended!
These activities as well distracted her from brooding over Sorbert’s
going.
Of Kreisler she thought very little. Her women friends held the centre of
the stage.
In her thoughts they stared at her supersession: Tarr to Kreisler. From
bad to worse, for her friends. There was a strange continuity in her
troubled friendship with these women. Always (only more so) at the same
point, stretching the cord.
So this was the key to her programme; _a person has made some slip
in grammar, say_. He makes it again deliberately, so that his first
involuntary speech may appear deliberate.
She began her customary pottering about in her rooms. Fräulein Elsa
Kinderbach, one of the Dresden sisters already spoken of, interrupted
her. At the knock she thought of Tarr and Kreisler simultaneously, and
welded in one.
“Isn’t it hot? It’s simply broiling outside. I left the studio quite
early.” Fräulein Kinderbach sat down, giving her hat a toss and squinting
up at it.
The most evident thing about these sisters was dirt, anæmia, and a
sort of soiled, insignificant handsomeness. They explained themselves,
roughly, by describing in a cold-blooded lazy way their life at home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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