When Kreisler had jumped to the doorway Tarr had stepped out with a
half-defensive, half-threatening gesture and then gone on with strained
slowness, lighting a match at the head of the stairs. He felt like a
discomfited pub-loafer as he raised the match to an imaginary clay pipe
rising in his mind. There was the ostentatious coolness of the music-hall
comedian.
The thing that had chiefly struck him in Kreisler under this new aspect
was a kind of nimbleness, a pettiness in his behaviour and movements,
where perhaps he had expected more stiffness and heroics; the clown-like
gibing form his anger took, a frigid disagreeable slyness and irony, a
juvenile quickness and coldness.
Tarr was extremely dissatisfied with the part he had played in this
scene. First of all he felt he had withdrawn too quickly at the
appearance of the whip, although he had in fact got under way before it
had appeared. Then, he argued, he should have stopped at the appearance
of this instrument of disgrace. To stop and fight with Kreisler, what
objection was there to that, he asked himself? A taking Kreisler too
seriously? But what _less_ serious than fighting? He had saved himself
an unpleasantness, something ridiculous, merely to find himself outside
Kreisler’s door, a feeling of primitive dissatisfaction in him. Had he
definitely been guilty of a lack of pluck or pride, it would have been
better.
There was something mean and improper in all this that he could not
reason away or mistake. He had undoubtedly insulted this man by his
attitude, _s’en était fiche de lui_; and when the other turned, whip in
hand, he had walked away. What really should he have done? He should,
no doubt, he thought, having humorously instituted himself Kreisler’s
keeper, have humorously struggled with him, when the idiot became
obstreperous. At that point his humour had stopped. Then his humour had
limitations?
Once and for all and certainly: he had no right to treat a man as he
had treated Kreisler and yet claim, when he turned and resented this
treatment, immunity from action on the score of Kreisler’s idiocy.
In allowing the physical struggle any importance he allowed Kreisler
an importance, too, that made his former treatment of him unreal and
unjustified. In Kreisler’s eyes he was a _blagueur_, without resistance
at a pinch, who walks away when turned on. This opinion was of no
importance, since he had not a shadow of respect for Kreisler. Again he
turned on himself. If he was so weak-minded as to care what trash like
Kreisler thought or felt! He wandered in the direction of the Café de
l’Aigle, gripped in this ratiocination.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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