Kreisler, from twenty yards off, stared through his glasses at the group
of people he had assembled, as though he had been examining the enemy
through binoculars. Obediently, erect and still, he appeared rather
amazed at what was occurring. Soltyk, in rear of the others, struggled
with his bile. He slipped into his mouth a sedative tablet, oxide of
bromium and heroin. This made him feel more sick. For a few moments he
stood still in horror, expecting to vomit at every moment. The blood
rushed to his head and covered the back of his neck with a warm liquid
sheet.
Kreisler’s look of surprise deepened. He had seen Soltyk slipping
something into his mouth, and was puzzled and annoyed, like a child. What
was he up to? Poison was the only guess he could give. What on earth⸺?
Having taken part in many _mensurs_ he knew that for this very serious
duel his emotions were hardly adequate. His nervous system was as
quiescent as a corpse’s. He became offended with his phlegm. All this
instinctive resistance to the idea of Death, the indignity of being
nothing, was rendered empty by his premature insensitiveness. He tried to
visualize and feel. In a few minutes he might be dead! That had so little
effect that he almost laughed.
Then he reflected that that man over there might in a few minutes be
wiped out. He would become a disintegrating mess, uglier than any vitriol
or syphilis could make him. All that organism he, Kreisler, would be
turning into dung, as though by magic. He, Kreisler, is insulted. The
sensations and energies of that man deny him equality of existence. He,
Kreisler, lifts his hand, presses a little bar of steel, and the other
is swept away into the earth. Heaven knows where the insulting spirit
goes to. But the _physical disfigurement_ at least is complete. He
went through it laboriously. But it fell flat as well. He was too near
the event to benefit by his fancy. Possibilities were weakened by the
nearness of Certainty.
His momentary resentment with Bitzenko survived, and he next became
annoyed at being treated like an object, as he felt it. He was not
deliberately conscious of much. But, try as he would to elude the
disgraces and besmirchings of death, people refused to treat him as
anything but a sack of potatoes.
There four or five men had been arguing about him for the last five
minutes, and they had not once looked his way. But clearly Bitzenko was
defending _his_ duel.
Why should Bitzenko go on disposing of him in this fashion? He took
everything for granted; he never so much as appealed to him, even once.
Had Bitzenko been commissioned to hustle him out of existence?
But Soltyk. There was that fellow again slipping something into his
mouth! A cruel and fierce sensation of mixed real and romantic origin
rose hotly round his heart. He _loved_ that man! But because he loved him
he wished to plunge a sword into him, to plunge it in and out and up and
down! Why had pistols been chosen?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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