Jewish fiction; Jews -- Fiction; Pinski, David, 1872-1959 -- Translations into English; Short stories, Jewish
For the first time in his life was he weeping so. His was a bitter
nature, and as often as life had brought him tears he had been
able always to swallow them. He knew that his tears would soften
nobody,—that they would only make him ridiculous. They would mock him
as a soft-hearted fool; and that must never be. With teeth clenched
together this wretched orphan had gone through life in eternal
hostility to all about him. His eyes had been often suffused with
blood, but never with tears.
Now, however, he neither could nor desired to hold them back. He wept
until the tears refused to come. Then he was overcome by a fainting
sensation, and he thought that death was near. It would come to him
just as he lay there. He stretched himself out, closed his eyes and
waited for death. To lie thus, to fall asleep forever and cease to
be. To be liberated once for all from the desolate days behind him
and from all the misery ahead.
He yearned for death.
“Ah, to die!”
Before his sight there began to float dead bodies that he had seen
during his life. Such he desired now to become. Then he beheld
before him the hanging form of water-carrier Kirillo. All at once
he sat up. A certain thought had raised him: he, too, would hang
himself. This waiting for death would not do. He would not die so
soon, if he waited. He peered into the thick darkness and thought.
The impression of his whole life rose before him. Not a single day
of happiness; not a moment of rest. Years of unceasing care and of
constant struggle, of laborious toil and frequent hunger. And the
future threatened still worse. As black as the dense gloom about him.
Long years of incarceration, in the prisoners’ ranks, and then—hunger
once more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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