"Pray, sir, be silent!" exclaimed Mr. Aubrey, in a tone and manner which
electrified Gammon, who started in his chair. Mr. Aubrey's face was
whitened; his eye glanced lightning at his companion. Dagon-like, Gammon
had put forth his hand and touched the ark of Aubrey's honor. Gammon
lost his color, and for, perhaps, the first time in his life, quailed
before the majesty of man; 'twas also the majesty of suffering; for he
had been torturing a noble nature. Neither of them spoke for some
time--Mr. Aubrey continuing highly excited--Gammon gazing at him with
unfeigned amazement. The paper which he held in his hand rustled, and he
was obliged to lay it down on his lap, lest Mr. Aubrey should notice
this evidence of his agitation.
"I am guilty of great weakness, sir," said at length Mr. Aubrey--his
excitement only a little abated. He stood erect, and spoke with stern
precision; "but you, perhaps unconsciously, provoked the display of it.
Sir, I am ruined; I am a beggar: we are all ruined; we are all beggars:
it is the ordering of God, and I bow to it. But do you presume, sir, to
think that at last my HONOR is in danger? and consider it necessary, as
if you were warning one whom you saw about to become a criminal, to
expatiate on the nature of the meditated act by which I am to disgrace
myself and my family?" Here _that family_ seemed suddenly standing
around him: his lip quivered; his eyes filled; he ceased speaking; and
trembled with excessive emotion.
"This is a sally equally unexpected, Mr. Aubrey, and, permit me to add,
unwarrantable," said Gammon, calmly, having recovered his
self-possession. "You have entirely misunderstood me, sir; or I have
ill-explained myself. Your evident emotion and distress touch my very
soul, Mr. Aubrey." Gammon's voice trembled. "Suffer me to tell
you--unmoved by your violent rebuke--that I feel an inexpressible
respect and admiration for you, and am miserable at the thought of one
word of mine having occasioned you an instant's uneasiness." When a
generous nature is thus treated, it is apt to feel an excessive
contrition for any fault or extravagance which it may have committed--an
excessive appreciation of the pain which it may have inflicted on
another. Thus it was, that by the time Gammon had done speaking, Mr.
Aubrey felt ashamed and mortified at himself, and conceived an
admiration of the dignified forbearance of Gammon, which quickly
heightened into respect for his general character as it appeared to
Aubrey, and fervent gratitude for the disposition which he had evinced,
from first to last, so disinterestedly to serve a ruined man. He seemed
now to view all that Gammon had proposed in quite a new light--through
quite another medium; and his excited _feelings_ were in some danger of
disturbing his _judgment_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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