Rank is very apt to attract and dazzle vulgar and feeble optics; and the
belief that such is its effect upon mankind generally, is unspeakably
gratifying to a vain and ignorant possessor of that rank. Of the truth
of one part of this observation, take as an illustration the case of
Tittlebat Titmouse; of the other, that of the Earl of Dreddlington. The
former's dinner engagement with the latter, his august and awful
kinsman, was an event of such magnitude as to absorb almost all his
faculties in the contemplation of it, and also occasion him great
anxiety in preparing for an effective appearance upon so signal an
occasion. Mr. Gammon had repeatedly, during the interval, instructed his
anxious pupil, if so he might be called, as to the manner in which he
ought to behave. He was--Heaven save the mark, poor Titmouse!--to assume
an air of mingled deference, self-possession, and firmness; not, on the
one hand, to be overawed by the greatness with which he would be brought
into contact, nor, on the other, unduly elated by a sense of his own
suddenly acquired importance. He was, on the contrary, to steer evenly
between the extremes of timorousness and temerity--to _aim_, at least,
at that happy mean, so grateful to those able to appreciate the effort,
and object, of those who had attained to it. Titmouse was to remember
that, great as was the Earl of Dreddlington, he was yet _but a
man_--related, too, by consanguinity, to him, the aforesaid Titmouse;
who might, moreover, before many years should have elapsed, become
himself Lord Drelincourt, and by consequence equally entitled, with the
present possessor of that resplendent rank, to the homage of mankind. At
the same time that the earl's advanced years gave him a natural claim to
the reverence of his young kinsman--(whom his Lordship was about to
introduce into the sublime regions of aristocracy, and also of political
society)--Titmouse might extract a few ingredients of consolation from
the reflection, that his income probably _exceeded_, by a third, that of
the Earl of Dreddlington. This is the sum of Mr. Gammon's _general_
instructions to his eager and excited pupil; but he also gave Titmouse
many minor hints and suggestions. He was to drink very little
wine--(whereat Titmouse demurred somewhat vehemently, and asked "How the
d--l he was to _get his steam_ up without it?")--and on no account to
call for beer or porter, to which plebeian beverages, indeed, he might
consider himself as having bid a long and last adieu;--to say
occasionally, only, "my Lord" and "your Lordship," in addressing the
earl--and "your Ladyship," in addressing Lady Cecilia;--and, above all,
never to appear in a hurry, but to do and say whatever he had to do and
say calmly; for that the nerves of aristocracy were very delicate, and
could not bear a bustle, or the slightest display of energy or feeling.
Then, as to his _dress_--Gammon, feeling himself treading on very
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