"If the gentlemen of the press--and there are some among us--incorrectly direct their newspapers for subscribers, it is the fault of the man I intend to toast, if the papers do not reach those to whom they should have been addressed. "If a publishing clerk omits to address a newspaper to a subscriber, it is the fault of the man I intend to toast that the subscriber does not get his paper. "If a man writes a letter and seals it, and neglects to put any address upon it, it is the fault of the man I will toast, if the letter does not reach the person for whom it was intended. "If an officer of a bank addresses a letter to Boston instead of New Orleans, it is the fault of the man I shall presently toast, if the letter is not received at New Orleans. "If a merchant's clerk puts a letter in his over-coat, and leaves that coat at his boarding-house, with the letter in his pocket, the man I will toast is to blame because the letter has not reached its destination. "If a merchant shuts up a letter he has written, between the leaves of his ledger, and locks that ledger in his safe, the man I will toast has caused the non-reception of that letter. "If a poor debtor has no money to pay his dunning creditor, and writes a letter that he encloses fifty dollars, but encloses no money, having none to enclose, the man I will toast has stolen the money. "If a _good, warm-hearted, true_ friend, receives a letter from a dear (?) but poor friend, asking the loan of five dollars; and, desiring to be considered a good, warm-hearted, true friend, and at the same time to save his five dollars, writes a letter saying 'dear friend, I enclose to you the five dollars,' but only wafers into the letter a small corner of the bill,--the man I will toast has stolen the five dollars out of the letter, and in pulling it out, tore the bill. "If a rail-road-bridge is torn down or the draw left open, and the locomotive is not able to jump the gap, but drops into the river with the mail, the man I will toast has caused the failure of the mail. "This, gentlemen, is the stranger to you, whom I will toast. I give you, gentlemen--A POST-OFFICE CLERK!" CHAPTER XXII. PRACTICAL, ANECDOTAL, ETC. The wrong Address--Odd Names of Post-Offices--The Post-Office a Detector of Crime--Suing the British Government--Pursuit of a Letter Box--An "Extra" Customer--To my Grandmother--Improper Interference--The Dead Letter--Sharp Correspondence--The Irish Heart--My Wife's Sister.