"Sure and I thought Boston was in Chicaga! and that's what ye call a daid letther, is it? Faith and I thought it was Bridget and not the letther, was daid. Ye see, Mr. Post Master, Michael he writ home to the ould folks that he lived in Chicaga, that he had married a nice American lady, that she was a sea-cook on a stameboat, and that they called her a nager. So whin I started for Ameriky, the ould modder, Miehael's modder, she give me these illegant rings (the letter contained a pair of ear-rings,) to give Michael's wife for a prisint. When we landed at Boston, I wrote Michael the letther, tould him I was going to Columbus to live, put on the name--Michael Flaherty, Boston, Chicaga, and put it in the post,--and sure here it is, and Michael's sea-cook nager niver got it. Bad luck to the ship that fetched me to Boston, Mr. Post Master." After offering to "trate me for the trouble" he had caused me, he left, and ever after, when he mailed a letter he brought it to me to put on the address, "Because he didn't understand these daid letthers." * * * * * SHARP CORRESPONDENCE. One of the Peter Funk "Gift-Enterprise" firms in a large city, sent a package of tickets to a post master in Maine, the postage upon which was fifteen cents unpaid. They got the following hard rap over the knuckles, from the indignant official:-- "I herewith return your tickets. You must be fools as well as knaves, to suppose that I will aid you in swindling my neighbors, and _pay all the expenses myself_." To which he in a few days received the annexed "settler:"-- Sir, "We perhaps owe you an apology for sending the parcel postage unpaid. As we infer from the phraseology of your note, that you are willing to swindle your neighbors if we will pay all the expenses, please give us your lowest terms on which you will act as our agent. P. S. All communications shall be strictly confidential." This note was promptly returned, with the following endorsement across its face, by the post master:-- "It seems you are not only fools and knaves, but blackguards also. Ask my neighbors if they think I would "swindle" them either at my own expense or that of any one else." To which this answer came back by next mail:-- "We _have_ inquired of your neighbors long ago, and that's the reason we applied to you in the first instance." Here follows the post master's final reply:-- "I acknowledge the corn. Send us your street and number, so that I can call on you when I come to the city, and I may conclude to aid your "Enterprise." But that was the last thing that the "Gift" gentleman could think of doing. In fact, secrecy as to his locality, was quite essential in keeping out of the clutches of the Police. * * * * * THE IRISH HEART.