London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
'You're a motorist, darling.'
'No, I'm not a silly motorist. Guess what I am?'
'It's so difficult to guess, such hot weather! Can you guess, Paul?'
'I sink he is a nuisance,' replied the Frenchman, laughing politely.
'No, that's wrong. You guess what I am.'
'Guess what he is,' echoed Dilly.
'O Lord! what does it matter? What I always say is--live and let live,
and let it go at that,' said Captain Willis, with his loud laugh.
'What, Mrs Ottley? But they won't do it, you know--they won't--and
there it is!'
'Guess what I am,' persisted Archie.
'Never mind what you are; do go and sit down, and take those things
off,' said Edith.
'Not till you guess what I am.'
'Does Dilly know?'
'No, Dilly doesn't know. Guess what I am, grandmamma!'
'I give it up.'
'I thought you'd never guess. Well, I'm a blue-faced mandrill!'
declared Archie, as he took the goggles off reluctantly and gave them
back to La France, who put them under his chair.
'Yes, he's a two-faced mangle,' repeated Dilly.
He turned round on her sharply. 'Now, don't talk nonsense! You're a
silly girl. I never said anything about being a two-faced mangle; I'm
a blue-faced mandrill.'
'Well, I said so; a two-faced mangle.'
'Don't say anything at all if you can't say it right,' said Archie,
raising his voice and losing his temper.
'Well, they's both the same.'
'No, they jolly well aren't.'
He drew her a little aside. 'A blue-faced mandrill, silly, is real;
it's in my natural history book.'
'Sorry,' said Dilly apologetically.
'In my natural history book it is, a _real_ thing. I'm a blue-faced
mandrill.... Now say it after me.'
'You's a two-faced mangle.'
'Now you're doing it on purpose! If you weren't a little girl, Dilly--'
'I wasn't doing it on purpose.'
'Oh, get away before I hit you! You're a silly little fool.'
She slowly walked away, calling out: 'And you're a silly two-faced
mangle,' in a very irritating tone. Archie made a tremendous effort to
ignore her, then he ran after her saying:
'Will you shut up or will you not?'
Aylmer seized hold of him.
'What are you going to do, Archie?'
'Teach Dilly what I am. She says--Oh, she's _such_ a fool!'
'No, Archie, leave her alone; she's only a baby. Come along, old boy.
Give Mr Cricker a cup of tea; he hasn't had one yet.'
Archie was devoted to Aylmer. Following him, he handed the tea to Mr
Cricker, saying pathetically:
'I'm a blue-faced mandrill, and she knew it. I told her so. Aren't
girls fools? They do worry!'
'They _are_ torments,' said Aylmer.
'I wish that Frenchman would give me his goggles to keep! He doesn't
want them.'
'I'll give you a pair,' said Aylmer.
'Thanks,' said Cricker,' I won't have any tea. I wish you'd come and
have a little talk with me, Ross. Can I have a word with you alone?'
Aylmer good-naturedly went aside with him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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