And also, she didn't care. That, I can see, makes for frankness. Having
stormed her citadel, I was free to do as I chose; she offered not the
slightest resistance. I asked her cautious questions at first, and she
answered them; then I asked her bolder questions, and she answered them.
She didn't care. I said: "I may as well tell you outright that I think
you and Terry are both on very dangerous ground."
"I daresay we are," she answered. She took a cigarette from a dainty
little gold case, and lit it with langorous nonchalance.
"You don't mind me giving you my opinion?"
"Not in the least."
"Will you take any notice of it?"
"Probably not."
"You just intend to do whatever you like?"
"Yes."
"As regards Terry?"
"Yes."
"But--Helen--what _is_ it that you're going to do?"
"I'm not certain."
"You're not going to make a fool of him again?"
That stung her out of her somnambulist calmness. She answered, with
sharp passion: "Why do you say that? Why do you insult me? I didn't ask
you to come here--I even tried to stop you from coming. Why _did_ you
come? ... If you don't like what you're hearing, go away."
I told her quietly that I didn't like what I was hearing, but that I
wasn't going away.
Then she cried out: "Stay, then. Do whatever you like--I don't care.
I've made up my mind what I'm going to do, and I'll do it, right or
wrong.... And if you say a word to Terry, I'll deny everything and call
you a liar. _He'll_ believe me."
"You'd do _that_?"
"I'd do _anything_. I'm absolutely at the limit of unscrupulousness.
When _you_ want anything badly enough--if you ever do--perhaps _you'll_ be
the same...."
VII
Here's where I'm in danger of going astray. I feel I must keep on
reminding myself of the circumstances--forgetting Helen herself and
thinking only of the case as it would be docketed in some psychologist's
bureau.... A woman, aged thirty-eight, married to a charming, clever,
and wealthy man who, owing to an accident, cannot move out of his chair.
Eight years ago she had an "affair" with a man seven years her junior,
upsetting his career and half-ruining his life altogether. Now, while
her husband passes his dull eventless days as best he can, she meets
this young man and amuses herself with him again....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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