The office was a small affair of glass partitions, and I could see as
well as hear all that took place. I wasn't consciously eavesdropping at
first, and later when I must confess to a certain eagerness of ear and
eye, I had the excuse that it would have been impossible for me to move
away without creating a distinctly awkward situation. So I sat there
quiet and still, hardly daring even to smoke lest the smell of the cigar
should drift across into the hall and betray me.
For he was proposing to her! There in that little hotel-office, with his
face as pale as chalk and his voice half-trembling, he was asking her to
marry him! At first he spoke in German, but after a short while relapsed
into stammering staccato English.
Most men, when they propose, are doubtless optimists--not only about the
proposal, but about themselves and the world in general. But Terry
wasn't an optimist. The whole business would have been just comic, if
one had allowed oneself to see the joke of it. He informed her in a
series of short sentences that he was entirely ineligible--he had no
money, and poorish prospects, and it might and probably would be years
before he could afford to marry her. Altogether he was a pretty hopeless
sort of suitor, and he even reminded her that she could always give him
up if she had the good sense to change her mind while there was yet
time. All he wanted, apparently, was a vague assurance that some day, if
and when he could afford it, and if and when she wished, she would marry
him.
While he was talking in this stumbling, sorrowful way, she was all the
time sitting at her desk, pen in hand, looking up at him. She didn't say
a word; she let him talk on, and then, when he had said everything, she
just lifted up her hands and arms and pulled him down to her. I never
saw anything so swift and sudden. A second afterwards she was in his
arms and kissing him....
Where I was I could feel the sharp slackening of tension as they clung
together. And then, after the ecstasy of that first embrace, she seemed
to recover a certain self-protective calmness; she was the business
woman again, chary of committing herself. "Terry," she whispered, "you
must not ask me for an answer now. It would not be possible after
this.... To-morrow I will give it you--when I have thought it over
calmly...."
He didn't protest. He didn't seem to care greatly whether she gave him
an answer or not. His mind and body were reeling; he could only stammer:
"Oh, Mizzi--Mizzi----"
He threw himself into a chair and buried his face in his hands, and she
stooped over him like a mother over a child. It was unbearable, somehow,
to be spying on them then. I took the risk of tip-toeing out of the room
and across to the foot of the staircase. They neither saw nor heard. And
it was later--much later--when he came up to bed.
XIII
Monday....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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