It was this that had stirred within her in answer to that unspoken
appeal for understanding. It was this that had inspired that sense of
comradeship within her. She had called it intuition, sympathy. But
now—she knew now that it had another name. And what was she going to
do? How was she going to treat this amazing thing? Was she prepared to
let it grow and become great? Was she prepared to yield herself to it,
her cherished independence, her very life, and become a slave again? Was
she going to stake all she had—all that the unknown future might hold
for her—upon one fatal throw? To be absorbed into this tragic
atmosphere, to feel the ground unstable beneath her feet, to hear the
grim clash of antagonisms shattering the peace, to be in bondage to this
man of harsh judgments and unrestrained passions,—to be a slave again,
perhaps to cower as Lucy had cowered from his ungoverned fury! But no!
She would never do that! Sheer pride came to her aid, and she
straightened herself with a little smile of self-ridicule. Why was she
permitting this panic? She knew herself well enough to be quite sure she
would never do that.
“I believe I could manage him alone,” she reflected. “But in this
atmosphere of servitude and oppression—well, of course—” she laughed a
faint laugh and felt the better for it—“any man would be bound to
become a tyrant—like the Bishop—only worse.” Her letter slipped from
her grasp, and she stooped to recover it. Something of the old official
attitude was hers as she sat up again and prepared to open it. “Well, we
will put a stop to this anyhow,” she said with decision. “And then we
must consider the best and safest way of leaving Tetherstones without
giving rise to foolish conjecture.”
Again that odd little smile of hers tilted her lips. The feeling of
dismay had gone.
“I shall get over it all right,” she said. “It’s a pity of course, but
it isn’t big enough yet to hurt me much. If I had been younger—” she
lifted her head suddenly—“but dash it, I’m not so old as that. If he
wants me he must get rid of his retinue of slaves and take the trouble
to win me. But to add me to the number—make me the chief one at
that—no, no, no!” She shook her head in humorous negation. “It isn’t
good enough, my dear man. Love doesn’t thrive in that soil.”
But even as she said it, a little gibing voice rose up in her soul and
mocked her. Who was she to say from what small beginnings Love the
Immortal might spring? Like the wonderful, purple flower on the grey
stone arch in the Palace garden that no human hand had ever planted!
She opened her letter almost absent-mindedly, and began to read it with
an interest as impersonal as she would have bestowed upon the letter of
an employer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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