She hoped to accomplish it unobserved, for she knew that the entire
household retired by nine, and some of its members even before that hour
in view of the early rising that the farm work entailed; and since she
had no intention of allowing her interview with Rotherby to be unduly
prolonged, she anticipated that the whole adventure need not take more
than half-an-hour or at the most three-quarters. She intended to assume
an attitude so prosaically business-like that he would find it
impossible to return, or even to attempt to return, to their former
relations. In fact, she felt herself to be armed at every point and
ready for him. For she felt neither attraction nor repulsion for him
now, merely a sort of cold-blooded, wholly impersonal, interest in him
as a stepping-stone to that independence which was the dream of her
life. It seemed he could help her; therefore she was not in a position
to throw him aside. But as a man she scarcely regarded him at all. He
had become no more than the medium for the attainment of her
ambition—the stepping-stone to ambition—no more than that. How often
in life do we thus deceive ourselves, imagining ourselves free and not
discerning the bonds of our slavery?
The coming of Dolly at nine o’clock was usually the signal of the
general retirement of the rest of the family, but Dolly was a little
late that night. She and Milly had been absent for the whole day and
they evidently had a good deal to talk about. When Dolly came to her
eventually, it was nearly half-an-hour later than usual. Frances was
sitting by her open window, watching the moon rise.
“So you’re not in bed yet!” said Dolly. “I was afraid you would be tired
of waiting.”
“Oh, no,” Frances said. “I can quite easily put myself to bed, thank
you. Have you had a good day? Has all gone well?”
“Oh, yes, on the whole. We were rather surprised to come upon Oliver in
Fordestown on our way back. It isn’t like him to absent himself without
permission, especially at such a time as harvest. Of course we thought
Arthur had given him leave. Did you know he was going?”
“I?” said Frances, and stared for a moment in amazement; then suddenly
remembered the reason of his going and felt the unwelcome knowledge burn
her. “What makes you ask?” she said, after a moment.
“Oh, nothing.” Dolly came to her to take down her hair. “Ruth said he
was talking to you just before he went, that was all. I wondered if
possibly he might have mentioned what he was going to do and why. It
doesn’t matter in the least. There will probably be a row when he comes
back, that’s all. He generally manages to get round Arthur, but I don’t
think he will this time.”
“I should like to do my hair myself to-night,” said Frances. “Thank you
very much. I am really strong enough now, and I am sure you must be very
tired after your long day.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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