Christian women saints -- Fiction; Christianity, Conversion to -- Fiction; Courtesans -- Fiction; Egypt -- Fiction; Hermits -- Fiction
“God is unity, for He is the truth, which is one. The world is many,
because it is error. We should turn away from all the sights of nature,
even those which appear the most innocent. Their diversity renders them
pleasant, which is a sign that they are evil. For that reason, I cannot
see a tuft of papyrus by the side of still waters without my soul
being imbued with melancholy. All things that the senses perceive are
detestable. The least grain of sand brings danger. Everything tempts us.
Woman is but a combination of all the temptations scattered in the thin
air, on the flowering earth, in the clear waters. Happy is he whose soul
is a sealed vase! Happy is he who knows how to be deaf, dumb, and blind,
and who knows nothing of the world, in order that he may know God!”
Zozimus, having meditated upon these words, replied as follows--
“Venerable father, it is fitting that I should avow my sins to thee,
since thou hast shown me thy soul. Thus we shall confess to each
other, according to the apostolic custom. Before I was a monk, I led
an abominable life. At Madaura, a city celebrated for its courtesans,
I sought out all kinds of worldly love. Every night I supped in company
with young debauchees and female flute players, and I took home with me
the one who pleased me the best. A saint like thee could never imagine
to what a pitch the fury of my desires carried me. Suffice it to
say that it spared neither matrons nor nuns, and spread adultery and
sacrilege everywhere. I excited my senses with wine, and was justly
known as the heaviest drinker in Madaura. Yet I was a Christian, and,
in all my follies, kept my faith in Jesus crucified. Having devoured my
substance in riotous living, I was beginning to feel the first attacks
of poverty, when I saw one of my companions in pleasure suddenly struck
with a terrible disease. His knees could not sustain him; his twitching
hands refused to obey him; his glazed eyes closed. Only horrible groans
came from his breast. His mind, heavier than his body, slumbered. To
punish him for having lived like a beast, God had changed him into a
beast. The loss of my property had already inspired me with salutary
reflections, but the example of my friend was of yet greater efficacy;
it made such an impression on my heart that I quitted the world and
retired into the desert. There I have enjoyed for twenty years a peace
that nothing has troubled. I work with my monks as weaver, architect,
carpenter, and even as scribe, though, to say the truth, I have little
taste for writing, having always preferred action to thought. My days
are full of joy, and my nights without dreams, and I believe that the
grace of the Lord is in me, because, even in the midst of the most
frightful sins, I have never lost hope.”
On hearing these words, Paphnutius lifted his eyes to heaven and
murmured--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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