What a relief it was to me to turn from this perpetual scorn to some
two or three letters of my dear mother's, written after their separation
indeed, but in a spirit of such thorough forgiveness, and with such an
honest desire for his welfare, that I only wondered how any heart could
have resisted such loving generosity. I really believe nothing so
jarred upon him as her humility. Every reference to their inequality of
condition seemed to affect him like an insult; and on the back of one of
her letters there was written in pencil, “Does she imagine I ever forget
from what I took her; or that the memory is a pleasant one?”
Mr. La Grange's curiosity to learn what amount of money my father had
left behind him, and what were the dispositions of his will, pushed my
patience very hard indeed. I could not, however, exactly afford to
get rid of him, as he had long been intrusted with the payment of
tradesmen's bills, and he was in a position to involve me in great
difficulty, if so disposed.
At last we set out for England; and never shall I forget the strange
effect produced upon me by the deference my new station attracted
towards me. It seemed to me but yesterday that I was the companion of
poor Hanserl, of the “yard;” and now I had become, as if by magic, one
of the favored of the earth. The fame of being rich spreads rapidly,
and my reputation on that head lost nothing through any reserve or
forbearance of my valet I was an object of interest, too, as the son of
that daring Englishman who had lost his life so heroically. Heaven
knows how La Grange had related the tragic incident, or with what
embellishment he had been pleased to adorn it. I can onsay that
half my days were passed in assuring eager inquirers that I was neither
present at the adventure, nor wounded in the affray; and all my efforts
were directed to proving that I was a most insignificant person, and
without the smallest claim to interest on my side.
Arrived in London, I was once more a “personage;” at least, to my
family solicitors. My father's will had been already proved, and I was
recognized in all form as the heir to his title and fortune. They were
eager to know would I restore the family seat at Hexham. The Abbey was
an architectural gem that all England was proud of, and I was
eagerly entreated not to suffer it to drop into decay and ruin. The
representation of the borough--long neglected by my family--only
needed an effort to secure; and would I not like the ambition of a
parliamentary life?
What glimpses of future greatness were shown me! what possible chances
of this or that attained that would link me with real rank forever! And
all this time I was pining to clasp my mother to my arms; to pour out
my whole heart before her, and tell her that I loved a pale Jewish
girl, silent and half sad-looking, but whose low soft voice still echoed
within my heart, and whose cold hand had left a thrill after its touch
that had never ceased to move me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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