Down in his heart Philip thought that she might. And he went on nursing
this vain passion, knowing as well as any one can know the social code,
that Mr. Mavick and Mrs. Mavick would simply laugh in his face at such
a preposterous idea. And yet he knew that he had her sympathy in his
ambition, that to a certain extent she was interested in him. The girl
was too guileless to conceal that. And then suppose he should become
famous--well, not exactly famous, but an author who was talked about,
and becoming known, and said to be promising? And then he could fancy
Mavick weighing this sort of reputation in his office scales against
money, and Mrs. Mavick weighing it in her boudoir against social
position. He was a fool to think of it. And yet, suppose, suppose the
girl should come to love him. It would not be lightly. He knew that,
by looking into her deep, clear, beautiful eyes. There were in them
determination and tenacity of purpose as well as the capability of
passion. Heavens and earth, if that girl once loved, there was a force
that no opposition could subdue! That was true. But what had he to offer
to evoke such a love?
In those days Philip saw much of Celia, who at length had given up
teaching, and had come to the city to try her experiment, into which
she was willing to embark her small income. She had taken a room in
the midst of poverty and misery on the East Side, and was studying the
situation.
“I am not certain,” she said, “whether I or any one else can do
anything, or whether any organization down there can effect much. But I
will find out.”
“Aren't you lonesome--and disgusted?” asked Philip.
“Disgusted? You might as well be disgusted with one thing as another. I
am generally disgusted with the way things go. But, lonely? No, there
is too much to do and to learn. And do you know, Philip, that people are
more interesting over there, more individual, have more queer sorts of
character. I begin to believe, with a lovely philanthropist I know, who
had charge of female criminals, that 'wicked women are more interesting
than good women.'”
“You have struck a rich mine of interest in New York, then.”
“Don't be cynical, Phil. There are different kinds of interest. Stuff!
But I won't explain.” And then, abruptly changing the subject, “Seems to
me you have something on your mind lately. Is it the novel?”
“Perhaps.”
“The publishers haven't decided?”
“I am afraid they have.”
“Well, Philip, do you know that I think the best thing that could happen
to you would be to have the story rejected.”
“It has been rejected several times,” said Philip. “That didn't seem to
do me any good.”
“But finally, so that you would stop thinking about it, stop expecting
anything that way, and take up your profession in earnest.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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