The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
This was a blunder, though it did not seem so at the time. There was
more detail than I thought there would be: 1. Two persons whom we had
left in a Genevan pension some weeks before must be collected and
brought to the hotel. 2. I must notify the people on the Grand Quay who
store trunks to bring seven of our stored trunks to the hotel and carry
back seven which they would find piled in the lobby. 3. I must find out
what part of Europe Bayreuth was in and buy seven railway tickets for
that point. 4. I must send a telegram to a friend in the Netherlands. 5.
It was now two in the afternoon, and we must look sharp and be ready for
the first night train, and make sure of sleeping-car tickets. 6. I must
draw money at the bank.
It seemed to me that the sleeping-car tickets must be the most important
thing, so I went to the station myself to make sure; hotel messengers
are not always brisk people. It was a hot day and I ought to have
driven, but it seemed better economy to walk. It did not turn out so,
because I lost my way and trebled the distance. I applied for the
tickets, and they asked me which route I wanted to go by, and that
embarrassed me and made me lose my head, there were so many people
standing around, and I not knowing anything about the routes, and not
supposing there were going to be two; so I judged it best to go back and
map out the road and come again.
I took a cab this time, but on my way upstairs at the hotel I remembered
that I was out of cigars, so I thought it would be well to get some
while the matter was in my mind. It was only round the corner and I
didn’t need the cab. I asked the cabman to wait where he was. Thinking
of the telegram and trying to word it in my head, I forgot the cigars
and the cab, and walked on indefinitely. I was going to have the hotel
people send the telegram, but as I could not be far from the Post Office
by this time, I thought I would do it myself. But it was further than I
had supposed. I found the place at last, and wrote the telegram and
handed it in. The clerk was a severe-looking, fidgety man, and he began
to fire French questions at me in such a liquid form that I could not
detect the joints between his words, and this made me lose my head
again. But an Englishman stepped up and said the clerk wanted to know
where he was to send the telegram. I could not tell him, because it was
not my telegram, and I explained that I was merely sending it for a
member of my party. But nothing would pacify the clerk but the address;
so I said that if he was so particular I would go back and get it.
However, I thought I would go and collect those lacking two persons
first, for it would be best to do everything systematically and in
order, and one detail at a time. Then I remembered the cab was eating up
my substance down at the hotel yonder; so I called another cab, and told
the man to go down and fetch it to the Post Office and wait till I came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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