The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
It seemed a good time to look into the trunk business and rectify it if
it needed it, and I had a suspicion that it did. I was too late. The
concierge said he had shipped the trunks to Zurich the evening before. I
asked him how he could do that without exhibiting passage tickets.
‘Not necessary in Switzerland. You pay for your trunks and send them
where you please. Nothing goes free but your hand baggage.’
‘How much did you pay on them?’
‘A hundred and forty francs.’
‘Twenty-eight dollars. There’s something wrong about that trunk
business, sure.’
Next I met the porter. He said:
‘You have not slept well, is it not? You have the worn look. If you
would like a courier, a good one has arrived last night, and is not
engaged for five days already, by the name of Ludi. We recommend him;
“das heisst,” the Grande Hotel Beau Rivage recommends him.’
I declined with coldness. My spirit was not broken yet. And I did not
like having my condition taken notice of in this way. I was at the
county jail by nine o’clock, hoping that the Mayor might chance to come
before his regular hour; but he didn’t. It was dull there. Every time I
offered to touch anything, or look at anything, or do anything, or
refrain from doing anything, the policeman said it was ‘defendu.’ I
thought I would practise my French on him, but he wouldn’t have that
either. It seemed to make him particularly bitter to hear his own
tongue.
The Mayor came at last, and then there was no trouble; for the minute he
had convened the Supreme Court—which they always do whenever there is
valuable property in dispute—and got everything shipshape, and sentries
posted, and had prayer, by the chaplain, my unsealed letter was brought
and opened, and there wasn’t anything in it but some photographs:
because, as I remembered now, I had taken out the letter of credit so as
to make room for the photographs, and had put the letter in my other
pocket, which I proved to everybody’s satisfaction by fetching it out
and showing it with a good deal of exultation. So then the court looked
at each other in a vacant kind of way, and then at me, and then at each
other again, and finally let me go, but said it was imprudent for me to
be at large, and asked me what my profession was. I said I was a
courier. They lifted up their eyes in a kind of reverent way and said,
‘Du lieber Gott!’ and I said a word of courteous thanks for their
apparent admiration and hurried off to the bank.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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