The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
But there are excellent features about the car system, nevertheless. The
car will not stop for you to get on or off, except at certain places a
block or two apart, where there is a sign to indicate that that is a
halting station. This system saves many bones. There are twenty places
inside the car; when these seats are filled, no more can enter. Four or
five persons may stand on each platform—the law decrees the number—and
when these standing places are all occupied the next applicant is
refused. As there is no crowding, and as no rowdyism is allowed, women
stand on the platforms as well as men; they often stand there when there
are vacant seats inside, for these places are comfortable, there being
little or no jolting. A native tells me that when the first car was put
on, thirty or forty years ago, the public had such a terror of it that
they didn’t feel safe inside of it, or outside either. They made the
company keep a man at every crossing with a red flag in his hand. Nobody
would travel in the car except convicts on the way to the gallows. This
made business in only one direction, and the car had to go back light.
To save the company, the city government transferred the convict
cemetery to the other end of the line. This made traffic in both
directions, and kept the company from going under. This sounds like some
of the information which travelling foreigners are furnished with in
America. To my mind it has a doubtful ring about it.
The first-class cab is neat and trim, and has leather-cushion seats and
a swift horse. The second-class cab is an ugly and lubberly vehicle, and
is always old. It seems a strange thing that they have never built any
new ones. Still, if such a thing were done everybody that had time to
flock would flock to see it, and that would make a crowd, and the police
do not like crowds and disorder here. If there were an earthquake in
Berlin the police would take charge of it, and conduct it in that sort
of orderly way that would make you think it was a prayer meeting. That
is what an earthquake generally ends in, but this one would be different
from those others; it would be kind of soft and self-contained, like a
republican praying for a mugwump.
For a course (a quarter of an hour or less), one pays twenty-five cents
in a first-class cab, and fifteen cents in a second-class. The
first-class will take you along faster, for the second-class horse is
old—always old—as old as his cab, some authorities say—and ill-fed and
weak. He has been a first-class once, but has been degraded to
second-class for long and faithful service.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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