The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
‘Take of Afarabocca, Henbane, Carpobalsamum, each two Drams and a half;
of Cloves, Opium, Myrrh, Cyperus, each two Drams; of Opobalsamum, Indian
Leaf, Cinnamon, Zedoary, Ginger, Coftus, Coral, Cassia, Euphorbium, Gum
Tragacanth, Frankincense, Styrax Calamita, Celtic, Nard, Spignel,
Hartwort, Mustard, Saxifrage, Dill, Anise, each one Dram; of Xylaloes,
Rheum, Ponticum, Alipta Moschata, Castor, Spikenard, Galangals,
Opoponax, Anacardium, Mastich, Brimstone, Peony, Eringo, Pulp of Dates,
red and white Hermodactyls, Roses, Thyme, Acorns, Pennyroyal, Gentian,
the Bark of the Root of Mandrake, Germander, Valerian, Bishops Weed,
Bay-Berries, long and white Pepper, Xylobalsamum, Carnabadium,
Macodonian, Parsley-seeds, Lovage, the Seeds of Rue, and Sinon, of each
a Dram and a half; of pure Gold, pure Silver, Pearls not perforated, the
Blatta Byzantina, the Bone of the Stag’s Heart, of each the Quantity of
fourteen Grains of Wheat; of Sapphire, Emerald, and Jasper Stones, each
one Dram; of Hasle-nut, two Drams; of Pellitory of Spain, Shavings of
Ivory, Calamus Odoratus, each the Quantity of twenty-nine Grains of
Wheat; of Honey or Sugar a sufficient Quantity.’
Serve with a shovel. No; one might expect such an injunction after such
formidable preparation; but it is not so. The dose recommended is ‘the
Quantity of an Hasle-nut.’ Only that; it is because there is so much
jewellery in it, no doubt.
‘_Aqua Limacum._ Take a great Peck of Garden-snails, and wash them in a
great deal of Beer, and make your Chimney very clean, and set a Bushel
of Charcoal on Fire; and when they are thoroughly kindled, make a Hole
in the Middle of the Fire, and put the Snails in, and scatter more Fire
amongst them, and let them roast till they make a Noise; then take them
out, and, with a Knife and coarse Cloth, pick and wipe away all the
green Froth: Then break them, Shells and all, in a Stone Mortar. Take
also a Quart of Earth-worms, and scour them with Salt, divers times
over. Then take two Handfuls of Angelica and lay them in the Bottom of
the Still; next lay two Handfuls of Celandine; next a Quart of
Rosemary-flowers; then two Handfuls of Bears-foot and Agrimony; then
Fenugreek; then Turmerick; of each one Ounce: Red Dock-root, Bark of
Barberry-trees, Wood-sorrel, Betony, of each two Handfuls.—Then lay the
Snails and Worms on the Top of the Herbs; and then two Handfuls of
Goose-dung, and two Handfuls of Sheep-dung. Then put in three Gallons of
Strong Ale, and place the pot where you mean to set Fire under it: Let
it stand all Night, or longer; in the Morning put in three Ounces of
Cloves well beaten, and a small Quantity of Saffron, dry’d to Powder;
then six Ounces of Shavings of Hartshorn, which must be uppermost. Fix
on the Head and Refrigeratory, and distil according to Art.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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