Humorous stories, American; Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
It is almost a fortnight now that I am domiciled in a medieval villa in
the country, a mile or two from Florence. I cannot speak the language;
I am too old now to learn how, also too busy when I am busy, and too
indolent when I am not; wherefore some will imagine that I am having a
dull time of it. But it is not so. The “help” are all natives; they talk
Italian to me, I answer in English; I do not understand them, they
do not understand me, consequently no harm is done, and everybody is
satisfied. In order to be just and fair, I throw in an Italian word when
I have one, and this has a good influence. I get the word out of the
morning paper. I have to use it while it is fresh, for I find that
Italian words do not keep in this climate. They fade toward night, and
next morning they are gone. But it is no matter; I get a new one out of
the paper before breakfast, and thrill the domestics with it while it
lasts. I have no dictionary, and I do not want one; I can select words
by the sound, or by orthographic aspect. Many of them have French or
German or English look, and these are the ones I enslave for the day's
service. That is, as a rule. Not always. If I find a learnable phrase
that has an imposing look and warbles musically along I do not care to
know the meaning of it; I pay it out to the first applicant, knowing
that if I pronounce it carefully_ he_ will understand it, and that's
enough.
Yesterday's word was _avanti_. It sounds Shakespearian, and probably
means Avaunt and quit my sight. Today I have a whole phrase: _sono
dispiacentissimo_. I do not know what it means, but it seems to fit
in everywhere and give satisfaction. Although as a rule my words and
phrases are good for one day and train only, I have several that stay by
me all the time, for some unknown reason, and these come very handy
when I get into a long conversation and need things to fire up with
in monotonous stretches. One of the best ones is _dov è il gatto_. It
nearly always produces a pleasant surprise, therefore I save it up for
places where I want to express applause or admiration. The fourth word
has a French sound, and I think the phrase means “that takes the cake.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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