Humorous stories, American; Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
When it come midnight he couldn't stan' it no mo'; so he git up, he did,
en tuck his lantern en shoved out thoo de storm en dug her up en got de
golden arm; en he bent his head down 'gin de win', en plowed en plowed
en plowed thoo de snow. Den all on a sudden he stop (make a considerable
pause here, and look startled, and take a listening attitude) en say:
“My _lan'_, what's dat?”
En he listen--en listen--en de win' say (set your teeth together and
imitate the wailing and wheezing singsong of the wind), “Bzzz-z-zzz”--en
den, way back yonder whah de grave is, he hear a _voice_!--he hear
a voice all mix' up in de win'--can't hardly tell 'em 'part--
“Bzzz--zzz--W-h-o--g-o-t--m-y--g-o-l-d-e-n _arm?_” (You must begin to
shiver violently now.)
En he begin to shiver en shake, en say, “Oh, my! _Oh_, my lan'!” en de
win' blow de lantern out, en de snow en sleet blow in his face en mos'
choke him, en he start a-plowin' knee-deep toward home mos' dead, he so
sk'yerd--en pooty soon he hear de voice agin, en (pause) it 'us comin
_after _him! “Bzzz--zzz--zzz W-h-o--g-o-t--m-y--g-o-l-d-e-n--_arm_?”
When he git to de pasture he hear it agin--closter now, en
_a-comin'!_--a-comin' back dah in de dark en de storm--(repeat the wind
and the voice). When he git to de house he rush upstairs en jump in de
bed en kiver up, head and years, en lay da shiverin' en shakin'--en
den way out dah he hear it _agin!_--en a-_comin'_! En bimeby he hear
(pause--awed, listening attitude)--pat--pat--pat _Hit's a-comin'
upstairs!_ Den he hear de latch, en he _know _it's in de room!
Den pooty soon he know it's a-_stannin' by de bed!_ (Pause.) Den--he
know it's a-_bendin' down over him_--en he cain't skasely git his
breath! Den--den--he seem to feel someth'n' _c-o-l-d_, right down 'most
agin his head! (Pause.)
Den de voice say, _right at his year_--“W-h-o--g-o-t--m-y g-o-l-d-e-n
_arm?_” (You must wail it out very plaintively and accusingly; then
you stare steadily and impressively into the face of the farthest-gone
auditor--a girl, preferably--and let that awe-inspiring pause begin to
build itself in the deep hush. When it has reached exactly the right
length, jump suddenly at that girl and yell, “_You've_ got it!”)
If you've got the _pause _right, she'll fetch a dear little yelp and
spring right out of her shoes. But you _must _get the pause right; and
you will find it the most troublesome and aggravating and uncertain
thing you ever undertook.
GENERAL WASHINGTON'S NEGRO BODY-SERVANT
A Biographical Sketch
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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