Humorous stories, American; Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The cupola and the nave are not less curious to see.
What is this palace how I see yonder?
It is the town hall.
And this tower here at this side?
It is the Observatory.
The bridge is very fine, it have ten arches, and is constructed of free
stone.
The streets are very layed out by line and too paved.
What is the circuit of this town?
Two leagues.
There is it also hospitals here?
It not fail them.
What are then the edifices the worthest to have seen?
It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the Cusiomhouse, and the
Purse.
We are going too see the others monuments such that the public
pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's, the money office's, the
library.
That it shall be for another day; we are tired.
DIALOGUE 17
To Inform One'self of a Person
How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by?
Is a German.
I did think him Englishman.
He is of the Saxony side.
He speak the french very well.
Tough he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, spanish and
english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan, he speak
the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen believe him
Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englishman. It is difficult to enjoy well
so much several languages.
The last remark contains a general truth; but it ceases to be a truth
when one contracts it and applies it to an individual--provided that that
individual is the author of this book, Senhor Pedro Carolino. I am
sure I should not find it difficult “to enjoy well so much several
languages”--or even a thousand of them--if he did the translating for me
from the originals into his ostensible English.
ADVICE TO LITTLE GIRLS
Good little girls ought not to make mouths at their teachers for every
trifling offense. This retaliation should only be resorted to under
peculiarly aggravated circumstances.
If you have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with sawdust, while one of
your more fortunate little playmates has a costly China one, you should
treat her with a show of kindness nevertheless. And you ought not to
attempt to make a forcible swap with her unless your conscience would
justify you in it, and you know you are able to do it.
You ought never to take your little brother's “chewing-gum” away from
him by main force; it is better to rope him in with the promise of
the first two dollars and a half you find floating down the river on a
grindstone. In the artless simplicity natural to this time of life, he
will regard it as a perfectly fair transaction. In all ages of the
world this eminently plausible fiction has lured the obtuse infant to
financial ruin and disaster.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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