Humorous stories, American; Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
1. Written in 1870.
THE DANGER OF LYING IN BED
The man in the ticket-office said:
“Have an accident insurance ticket, also?”
“No,” I said, after studying the matter over a little. “No, I believe
not; I am going to be traveling by rail all day today. However, tomorrow
I don't travel. Give me one for tomorrow.”
The man looked puzzled. He said:
“But it is for accident insurance, and if you are going to travel by
rail--”
“If I am going to travel by rail I sha'n't need it. Lying at home in bed
is the thing _I_ am afraid of.”
I had been looking into this matter. Last year I traveled twenty
thousand miles, almost entirely by rail; the year before, I traveled
over twenty-five thousand miles, half by sea and half by rail; and the
year before that I traveled in the neighborhood of ten thousand miles,
exclusively by rail. I suppose if I put in all the little odd journeys
here and there, I may say I have traveled sixty thousand miles during
the three years I have mentioned. _And never an accident._
For a good while I said to myself every morning: “Now I have escaped
thus far, and so the chances are just that much increased that I shall
catch it this time. I will be shrewd, and buy an accident ticket.” And
to a dead moral certainty I drew a blank, and went to bed that night
without a joint started or a bone splintered. I got tired of that sort
of daily bother, and fell to buying accident tickets that were good
for a month. I said to myself, “A man _can't_ buy thirty blanks in one
bundle.”
But I was mistaken. There was never a prize in the the lot. I could read
of railway accidents every day--the newspaper atmosphere was foggy with
them; but somehow they never came my way. I found I had spent a good
deal of money in the accident business, and had nothing to show for it.
My suspicions were aroused, and I began to hunt around for somebody that
had won in this lottery. I found plenty of people who had invested,
but not an individual that had ever had an accident or made a cent. I
stopped buying accident tickets and went to ciphering. The result was
astounding. THE PERIL LAY NOT IN TRAVELING, BUT IN STAYING AT HOME.
I hunted up statistics, and was amazed to find that after all the
glaring newspaper headlines concerning railroad disasters, less than
_three hundred_ people had really lost their lives by those disasters
in the preceding twelve months. The Erie road was set down as the most
murderous in the list. It had killed forty-six--or twenty-six, I do not
exactly remember which, but I know the number was double that of any
other road. But the fact straightway suggested itself that the Erie was
an immensely long road, and did more business than any other line in
the country; so the double number of killed ceased to be matter for
surprise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account