Humorous stories, American; Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
WEDNESDAY.--I have had a variegated time. I escaped last night, and rode
a horse all night as fast as he could go, hoping to get clear of the
Park and hide in some other country before the trouble should begin; but
it was not to be. About an hour after sun-up, as I was riding through
a flowery plain where thousands of animals were grazing, slumbering, or
playing with each other, according to their wont, all of a sudden they
broke into a tempest of frightful noises, and in one moment the plain
was a frantic commotion and every beast was destroying its neighbor. I
knew what it meant--Eve had eaten that fruit, and death was come into
the world. ... The tigers ate my house, paying no attention when
I ordered them to desist, and they would have eaten me if I had
stayed--which I didn't, but went away in much haste.... I found this
place, outside the Park, and was fairly comfortable for a few days,
but she has found me out. Found me out, and has named the place
Tonawanda--says it _looks _like that. In fact I was not sorry she came,
for there are but meager pickings here, and she brought some of those
apples. I was obliged to eat them, I was so hungry. It was against my
principles, but I find that principles have no real force except when
one is well fed.... She came curtained in boughs and bunches of leaves,
and when I asked her what she meant by such nonsense, and snatched them
away and threw them down, she tittered and blushed. I had never seen
a person titter and blush before, and to me it seemed unbecoming and
idiotic. She said I would soon know how it was myself. This was correct.
Hungry as I was, I laid down the apple half-eaten--certainly the best
one I ever saw, considering the lateness of the season--and arrayed
myself in the discarded boughs and branches, and then spoke to her with
some severity and ordered her to go and get some more and not make a
spectacle of herself. She did it, and after this we crept down to where
the wild-beast battle had been, and collected some skins, and I made her
patch together a couple of suits proper for public occasions. They are
uncomfortable, it is true, but stylish, and that is the main point about
clothes.... I find she is a good deal of a companion. I see I should be
lonesome and depressed without her, now that I have lost my property.
Another thing, she says it is ordered that we work for our living
hereafter. She will be useful. I will superintend.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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