Humorous stories, American; Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
A FORTNIGHT LATER.--I examined its mouth. There is no danger yet: it has
only one tooth. It has no tail yet. It makes more noise now than it ever
did before--and mainly at night. I have moved out. But I shall go over,
mornings, to breakfast, and see if it has more teeth. If it gets a
mouthful of teeth it will be time for it to go, tail or no tail, for a
bear does not need a tail in order to be dangerous.
FOUR MONTHS LATER.--I have been off hunting and fishing a month, up
in the region that she calls Buffalo; I don't know why, unless it is
because there are not any buffaloes there. Meantime the bear has learned
to paddle around all by itself on its hind legs, and says “poppa” and
“momma.” It is certainly a new species. This resemblance to words may
be purely accidental, of course, and may have no purpose or meaning;
but even in that case it is still extraordinary, and is a thing which no
other bear can do. This imitation of speech, taken together with general
absence of fur and entire absence of tail, sufficiently indicates that
this is a new kind of bear. The further study of it will be exceedingly
interesting. Meantime I will go off on a far expedition among the
forests of the north and make an exhaustive search. There must certainly
be another one somewhere, and this one will be less dangerous when it
has company of its own species. I will go straightway; but I will muzzle
this one first.
THREE MONTHS LATER.--It has been a weary, weary hunt, yet I have had no
success. In the mean time, without stirring from the home estate, she
has caught another one! I never saw such luck. I might have hunted these
woods a hundred years, I never would have run across that thing.
NEXT DAY.--I have been comparing the new one with the old one, and it
is perfectly plain that they are of the same breed. I was going to stuff
one of them for my collection, but she is prejudiced against it for some
reason or other; so I have relinquished the idea, though I think it is
a mistake. It would be an irreparable loss to science if they should
get away. The old one is tamer than it was and can laugh and talk like
a parrot, having learned this, no doubt, from being with the parrot so
much, and having the imitative faculty in a high developed degree. I
shall be astonished if it turns out to be a new kind of parrot; and yet
I ought not to be astonished, for it has already been everything else it
could think of since those first days when it was a fish. The new one is
as ugly as the old one was at first; has the same sulphur-and-raw-meat
complexion and the same singular head without any fur on it. She calls
it Abel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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