The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
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The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
In our own case the force of this fact applied with a pronounced
emphasis. When the tentative draft of the house of our dreams was
offered for our inspection it seemed to us a gem--perfect, precious and
rare. Filled with pride as we were, we showed the drawings to every one
who came to see us. Getting out the drawings when somebody called became
a regular habit with us. Being ourselves so deeply interested in them,
we couldn't understand why our friends shouldn't be interested too. And
they were--I'll say that much for them; they were all interested. And
why not? For one thing, it gave them a chance to show how right they
were regarding the designing of a house; not our house particularly, but
anything under a roof, ranging from St. Peter's at Rome to the façade of
the government fish hatchery in Tupelo, Mississippi. For another thing,
it gave them a chance to show us how completely wrong we were on this
subject. Not a single soul among them but pounced at the opportunity.
Until then I never realized how many born pouncers--not amateur pouncers
but professional expert master pouncers--I numbered in my acquaintance.
Right from the beginning the procedure followed a certain ritual.
A caller or pouncer would drop in and have off his things and get
comfortably settled. We would produce the sketches, fondling them
lovingly, and spread them out and invite the attention of our guest to
probably the only perfect design of a house fashioned by the mind of man
since the days of the mound builders on this hemisphere. In our language
we may not have gone quite so far as to say all this, but our manner
indicated that such was the case.
He--for convenience in the illustration I shall make him a man, though
in the case of a woman the outcome remained the same--he would consider
the matchless work of inventive art presented for his consideration
and then he would say; “An awfully nice notion--splendid, perfectly
splendid! And still, you know, if I were----”
And so on.
Or perhaps it would be: “Oh, I like the general idea immensely!
But--you'll pardon my making a little suggestion, won't you?--but if I
were tackling this proposition--” And so on.
It has been my observation that all complimentary remarks uttered by a
member of the human race in connection with a house which somebody else
contemplates building end in “but.”
You just simply can't get away from it.
From the treasure-troves of my memory I continue to quote:
“But if I were tackling this proposition I would certainly not put the
dining room here were you've got it. I'd switch it over there right next
to the living room and give a vista through. See, like this!”
And out would come his lead pencil.
“But that would mean eliminating the main hall,” one of us would
venture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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