The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
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The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Regretting that the nurse that morning had seen fit to encase me in
snug-fitting linen breeches instead of woolen ones, I wandered about
carrying my saw in one hand and with the other hand from time to time
rubbing a certain well-defined area of my small person to allay the
afterglow. In the barnyard I came upon an egg lying on the edge of a mud
puddle under the protecting lee of the chicken-yard fence. I can shut my
eyes and see that egg right now. It was rather an abandoned-looking egg,
stained and blotched with brownish-yellow spots. It had the look about
it of an egg with a past--a fallen egg, as you might say.
Some impulse moved me to squat down and draw the toothed blade of my saw
thwartwise across the bulge of that egg. For the first time in my little
life I was about to have dealings with a genuine antique, but naturally
at my age and with my limited experience I did not realize that.
Probably I was actuated only by a desire to find out whether I could
saw right through the shell of an egg amidships. That phase of the
proceedings is somewhat blurred in my mind, though the dénouement
remains a vivid memory spot to this very day.
I imparted a brisk raking movement to the saw. It is my distinct
recollection that a fairly loud explosion immediately occurred. I was
greatly shocked. One too young to know aught of the chemical effect on
the reactions following the admission of fresh air to gaseous matter,
which has been forming to the fulminating point within a tightly sealed
casing, would naturally be shocked to have an egg go off suddenly in
that violent manner. Modern military science, I suppose, would classify
it as having been a contact egg.
Not only was I badly shocked, but also I had a profound conviction that
in some way I had been taken advantage of--that my confidence had in
some strange fashion been betrayed. I left my saw where I had dropped
it. At the moment I felt that never again would I care to have anything
to do with a tool so dangerous. I also left the immediate vicinity of
where the accident had occurred and for some minutes wandered about
in rather a distracted fashion. There did not seem to be any place in
particular for me to go, and yet I could not bear to stay wherever I
was. I wished, as it were, to get entirely away from myself--a morbid
fancy perhaps for a mere six-year-old to be having, and yet, I think, a
natural one under the circumstances.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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