The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
“I got one of the hallboys to call the janitor up from the basement
and I asked him if he would be good enough to store my box and my two
baskets in the storeroom where the tenants keep their trunks. And he
said not on my life he wouldn't, because there wasn't any room to spare
in the trunk room and then he asked me what I was going to do with all
that truck anyway, and though it was none of his business I thought it
would be tactful to make a polite answer and I told him I hadn't exactly
decided yet and that I certainly would appreciate his kindness if he
could just tuck my things away in some odd corner somewhere until I had
fully made up my mind. While I was saying that I was giving him one of
my most winning smiles, though it hurt like the toothache to smile under
the circumstances and considering what I'd already been through.
“But all he said was: 'Huh, lady, you couldn't tuck them things away
at Times Square and Forty-third Street and that's the biggest corner I
knows of in this town.'
“The impudent scoundrel wouldn't relent a mite either, until I'd given
him a dollar for a tip, and then he did agree to keep the baskets in
the coal cellar for a couple of days but no longer. But he absolutely
refused to take the box along too, so I had to have it sent upstairs to
the apartment and put in the bedroom because it was too big to go in
the hall. And when the men got it in the bedroom I could hardly get in
myself to take off my hat. And after that I sat down and cried a little,
because really I was frightfully upset, and moreover I had a feeling
that when Scott came home he would be sure to try to be funny. You know
how husbands are, being one yourself!
“Sure enough, when he came in the first thing he saw was that box. He
couldn't very well help seeing it because he practically fell over it
as he stepped in the door. He said: 'What's this?' and I said: 'It's a
box'--just like that. And he said: 'What kind of a box?' And I didn't
like his tone and I said: 'A green box. I should think anybody would
know that much.' And he said: 'Ah, indeed,' several times in a most
aggravating way and walked round it. He couldn't walk all the way round
it on account of the wall being in the way; but as far round it as he
could walk without bumping into the wall. And he looked at it and felt
it with his hand and kicked it once or twice and then he sniffed and
said: 'And what's it for?' And I said: 'To put things in.' And he said:
'For instance, what?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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