"I found myself on my knees before Lady H., endeavouring to persuade her from her tears, and I was startled to find that the sense of elation which I had ascribed to the unparalleled honour showered on me through the evening, and now abruptly broken off by the unfortunate incident, continued hardly diminished. And then the mad spirit of temptation entered into me to try and kiss the lovely, tearful face, willingly surrendered to me for that moment in the morning, into forgetfulness of the humiliation. I kissed the eyes and cheeks, and then the unresisting lips, and made I don't know what hot protestations of sympathy to win her from her shame. And at the last I succeeded; for, kissing me back, she rose from her tears radiant like Venus rising from the foam of the sea, and said, 'Let us forget it, Admiral: to-morrow he will be all penitence.' "This is to-morrow, and _I_ am all penitence. I wonder if I am very wicked? I know that I am intoxicated with the companionship of Lady H., but I know too that I have no feelings which are not of the purest. Is it wrong, under these circumstances, to appreciate the affectionate companionship of such a woman among women? Or were we intended to be happy, and in a world in which so much of happiness depends upon the affectionate companionship of women, to enjoy whatever such companionships come in our way without impurity? "To-day or to-morrow I shall sail away to Malta. It needs my presence, and I shall be away from this miserable court, which is still more distasteful to me now that I no longer feel myself to have the right of despising my neighbours for their views. "I do not feel that I can stay in this house longer." * * * * * I remember the emotion with which I first read this portion of the Admiral's Journal: it cleared things up for me a little. For I had often wondered how such a man as the Admiral with his lofty soul had first become entangled with My Lady. I have often spoken with her, and she was uniformly kind to me as a boy. She called me her good Tubby, and I liked her so well as to like it. She was indeed the best-hearted woman in the world, infinitely good to us midshipmen and the younger lieutenants, or I don't know how we could have stood the spectacle of our beloved Admiral at the feet of a woman, however distractingly lovely.