British -- Asia -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Soldiers -- Fiction
“Nor do I,” she answered promptly. “I have known it for a long time.
The best that can be said of it is that I am forcing myself to do evil
that good may come--or that you are forcing me.”
“I?” cried Colin indignantly. “You know I want nothing but your
happiness.”
“You don’t think of my happiness at all. You think of me merely as a
means of reclaiming George, not as a person to be considered
separately.”
“I hope you are not going to adopt Lady Haigh’s jargon, Pen. It
doesn’t sound nice from a young lady’s lips.”
“Do you think that what I have gone through since Christmas has been
nice to feel?” she demanded hotly, then broke down and fell upon her
knees by his couch in tears. “Oh, Colin, I am very miserable. I can’t
bear it. Help me. Be kind as you used to be. Think of me a little, not
only of George. He has come between us ever since we came to India. I
can’t marry him--I can’t!”
Colin put out a shaking hand to touch hers. He had honestly thought he
was doing the best both for his sister and his friend in bringing
about a marriage between them, and the sudden revelation of Penelope’s
state of feeling came upon him with a shock. “Don’t, Pen,” he said
feebly. “I didn’t know you felt like this about it. I’ll speak to
George--awful blow--poor fellow----” his voice failed, and Penelope
sprang up in alarm.
“Oh, I have made you ill again! You are faint!” she cried in terror.
“Oh, Colin, don’t. I will marry him--it was always to please you.”
“No, no.” He lifted his hand with difficulty. “We will talk of this
again--not just now. I will think about it. Poor George! poor fellow!”
and as she fetched him a restorative Penelope felt, with a renewal of
the old bitterness, that his first thought was still for Ferrers, not
for her.
It was not until the next day that he returned to the subject; but in
the interval she caught his eyes following her wistfully, as though he
was trying to discover the reason for such hardness of heart. But his
voice was gentle as he held out his hand to her when they found
themselves alone, and said, “Now, Pen, come and sit here, and let us
talk things over.” It did not occur to her to resent this fatherly
attitude on the part of a brother no older than herself. He had always
stood somewhat apart, and taken the lead, and until the last few
months she had never admitted a doubt of his insight or his wisdom. He
looked at her searchingly as she sat down beside him. “There is one
thing I must ask first,” he said. “Is there any one else?”
The blood rushed to Penelope’s face, but she looked him straight in
the eyes. “There is,” she said. “But don’t look at me in that way,
Colin, as if I had been encouraging some one else while I was engaged
to George. I think you might know me better than that.”
“You should have told me about it.”
“How could I? There was nothing to tell. He didn’t speak until it was
too late.”
“But when he spoke, you came at once to the conclusion that you
preferred him to George?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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