The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — CompleteSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Adventure stories; Gothic fiction
The Italian and the abbe were the first who began to grow whimsical
under the influence of the burgundy; and, in the heat of their
elevation, proposed that the company should amuse themselves during the
remaining part of the night, at the house of an obliging dame, who
maintained a troop of fair nymphs for the accommodation of the other
sex. The proposal was approved by all, except the Hollander, whose
economy the wine had not as yet invaded; and, while he retreated
soberly to his own lodgings, the rest of the society adjourned in two
coaches to the temple of love, where they were received by the
venerable priestess, a personage turned of seventy, who seemed to
exercise the functions of her calling, in despite of the most cruel
ravages of time; for age had bent her into the form of a Turkish bow.
Her head was agitated by the palsy, like the leaf of the poplar tree;
her hair fell down in scanty parcels, as white as the driven snow; her
face was not simply wrinkled, but ploughed into innumerable furrows;
her jaws could not boast of one remaining tooth; one eye distilled a
large quantity of rheum, by virtue of the fiery edge that surrounded
it; the other was altogether extinguished, and she had lost her nose in
the course of her ministration. The Delphic sibyl was but a type of
this hoary matron, who, by her figure, might have been mistaken for the
consort of Chaos, or mother of Time. Yet there was something
meritorious in her appearance, as it denoted her an indefatigable
minister to the pleasure of mankind, and as it formed an agreeable
contrast with the beauty and youth of the fair damsels that wantoned in
her train. It resembled those discords in music, which, properly
disposed, contribute to the harmony of the whole piece; or those
horrible giants, who, in the world of romance, used to guard the gates
of the castle in which the enchanted damsel was confined.
This Urganda seemed to be aware of her own importance, and perfectly
well acquainted with the human appetite; for she compelled the whole
company to undergo her embrace. Then a lacquey, in magnificent livery,
ushered them into a superb apartment, where they waited some minutes,
without being favoured with the appearance of the ladies, to the
manifest dissatisfaction of the abbe, who, sending for the gouvernante,
reprimanded her severely for her want of politesse. The old lady, who
was by no means a pattern of patience and submission, retorted his
reproaches with great emphasis and vivacity. Her eloquence flowed
altogether in the Covent Garden strain; and I question whether the
celebrated Mother Douglas herself could have made such a figure in an
extemporaneous altercation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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