The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — CompleteSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Adventure stories; Gothic fiction
Trapwell absolutely rejected his personal security; and threatened him
with all the horrors of a jail, unless he would immediately discharge
the debt, or procure sufficient bondsmen; and one of his quality
friends favoured him with this reply to his request:—
“MY DEAR COUNT!
I am mortally chagrined at the triumph you have furnished to that
rascally citizen. By the lard! the judge must have been in the terrors
of cuckoldom, to influence the decision; and the jury a mere herd of
horned beasts, to bring in such a barbarous verdict. Egad! at this
rate, no gentleman will be able to lie with another man’s wife, but at
the risk of a cursed prosecution. But to waive this disagreeable
circumstance, which you must strive to forget; I declare my
mortification is still the greater, because I cannot at present supply
you with the trifle your present exigency requires; for, to tell you a
secret, my own finances are in damnable confusion. But a man of Count
Fathom’s figure and address can never be puzzled for the want of such a
paltry sum. Adieu, my dear Count! we shall, I suppose, have the
pleasure of seeing you to-morrow at White’s: meanwhile, I have the
honour to be, with the most perfect attachment,
yours, GRIZZLEGRIN.”
The other noble peer, to whom he addressed himself on this occasion,
cherished the same sentiments of virtue, friendship, and generosity;
but his expression was so different, that we shall, for the edification
of the reader, transcribe his letter in his own words:—
“SIR,
I was never more astonished than at the receipt of your very
extraordinary billet, wherein you solicit the loan of a thousand
pounds, which you desire may be sent with the bearer on the faith of
your parole. Sir, I have no money to send you or lend you; and cannot
help repeating my expressions of surprise at your confidence in making
such a strange and unwarranted demand. ’Tis true, I may have made
professions of friendship, while I looked upon you as a person of
honour and good morals; but now that you are convicted of such a
flagrant violation of the laws of that kingdom where you have been
treated with such hospitality and respect, I think myself fully
absolved from any such conditional promise, which indeed is never
interpreted into any other than a bare compliment. I am sorry you have
involved your character and fortune in such a disagreeable affair, and
am,
Sir, yours, etc.
TROMPINGTON.”
Ferdinand was not such a novice in the world as to be disappointed at
these repulses; especially as he had laid very little stress upon the
application, which was made by way of an experiment upon the gratitude
or caprice of those two noblemen, whom he had actually more than once
obliged with the same sort of assistance which he now solicited, though
not to such a considerable amount.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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