The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — CompleteSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Adventure stories; Gothic fiction
Just as he entered these mansions of misery, his ears were invaded with
a hoarse and dreadful voice, exclaiming, “You, Bess Beetle, score a
couple of fresh eggs, a pennyworth of butter, and half a pint of
mountain to the king; and stop credit till the bill is paid:—He is now
debtor for fifteen shillings and sixpence, and d—n me if I trust him
one farthing more, if he was the best king in Christendom. And, d’ye
hear, send Ragged-head with five pounds of potatoes for Major
Macleaver’s supper, and let him have what drink he wants; the fat widow
gentlewoman from Pimlico has promised to quit his score. Sir Mungo
Barebones may have some hasty pudding and small beer, though I don’t
expect to see his coin, no more than to receive the eighteen pence I
laid out for a pair of breeches to his backside—what then? he’s a quiet
sort of a body, and a great scholar, and it was a scandal to the place
to see him going about in that naked condition. As for the mad
Frenchman with the beard, if you give him so much as a cheese-paring,
you b—ch, I’ll send you back to the hole, among your old companions; an
impudent dog! I’ll teach him to draw his sword upon the governor of an
English county jail. What! I suppose he thought he had to do with a
French hang-tang-dang, rabbit him! he shall eat his white feather,
before I give him credit for a morsel of bread.”
Although our adventurer was very little disposed, at this juncture, to
make observations foreign to his own affairs, he could not help taking
notice of these extraordinary injunctions; especially those concerning
the person who was entitled king, whom, however, he supposed to be some
prisoner elected as the magistrate by the joint suffrage of his
fellows. Having taken possession of his chamber, which he rented at
five shillings a week, and being ill at ease in his own thoughts, he
forthwith secured his door, undressed, and went to bed, in which,
though it was none of the most elegant or inviting couches, he enjoyed
profound repose after the accumulated fatigues and mortifications of
the day. Next morning, after breakfast, the keeper entered his
apartment, and gave him to understand, that the gentlemen under his
care, having heard of the Count’s arrival, had deputed one of their
number to wait upon him with the compliments of condolence suitable to
the occasion, and invite him to become a member of their society. Our
hero could not politely dispense with this instance of civility, and
their ambassador being instantly introduced by the name of Captain
Minikin, saluted him with great solemnity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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