The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — CompleteSmollett, T. (Tobias)
General
The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Adventure stories; Gothic fiction
So saying, he threw aside the blanket, and displayed scars and seams
innumerable upon his body, which appeared like an old patched leathern
doublet. “I remember,” proceeded this champion, “when I was a slave at
Algiers, Murphy Macmorris and I happened to have some difference in the
bagnio, upon which he bade me turn out. ‘Arra, for what?’ said I; ‘here
are no weapons that a gentleman can use, and you would not be such a
negro as to box like an English carman.’ After he had puzzled himself
for some time, he proposed that we should retire into a corner, and
funk one another with brimstone, till one of us should give out.
Accordingly we crammed half a dozen tobacco pipes with sulphur, and,
setting foot to foot, began to smoke, and kept a constant fire, until
Macmorris dropped down; then I threw away my pipe, and taking poor
Murphy in my arms, ‘What, are you dead?’ said I; ‘if you are dead,
speak.’ ‘No, by Jesus!’ cried he, ‘I an’t dead, but I’m speechless.’ So
he owned I had obtained the victory, and we were as good friends as
ever. Now, if Mr. Minikin thinks proper to put the affair upon the same
issue, I will smoke a pipe of brimstone with him to-morrow morning, and
if I cry out first, I will be after asking pardon for this supposed
affront.”
Fathom could not help laughing at the proposal, to which, however, he
objected on account of Minikin’s delicate constitution, which might
suffer more detriment from breathing in an atmosphere of sulphur than
from the discharge of a pistol, or the thrust of a small sword. He
therefore suggested another expedient in lieu of the sulphur, namely,
the gum called assafatida, which, though abundantly nauseous, could
have no effect upon the infirm texture of the lieutenant’s lungs. This
hint being relished by the major, our adventurer returned to his
principal, and having repeated the other’s arguments against the use of
mortal instruments, described the succedaneum which he had concerted
with Macleaver. The captain at first believed the scheme was calculated
for subjecting him to the ridicule of his fellow-prisoners, and began
to storm with great violence; but, by the assurances and address of
Fathom, he was at length reconciled to the plan, and preparations were
made on each side for this duel, which was actually smoked next day,
about noon, in a small closet, detached from the challenger’s
apartment, and within hearing of his majesty, and all his court,
assembled as witnesses and umpires of the contest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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