The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Volume 01Smollett, T. (Tobias)
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The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Volume 01
Smollett, T. (Tobias)
Adventure stories; Gothic fiction
While he thus enjoyed his pre-eminence, together with the fruits of his
success at play, which he managed so discreetly as never to incur the
reputation of an adventurer, he one day chanced to be at the ordinary,
when the company was surprised by the entrance of such a figure as had
never appeared before in that place. This was no other than a person
habited in the exact uniform of an English jockey. His leathern cap, cut
bob, fustian frock, flannel waistcoat, buff breeches, hunting-boots and
whip, were sufficient of themselves to furnish out a phenomenon for the
admiration of all Paris. But these peculiarities were rendered still
more conspicuous by the behaviour of the man who owned them. When he
crossed the threshold of the outward door, he produced such a sound from
the smack of his whip, as equalled the explosion of an ordinary cohorn;
and then broke forth into the halloo of a foxhunter, which he uttered
with all its variations, in a strain of vociferation that seemed to
astonish and confound the whole assembly, to whom he introduced himself
and his spaniel, by exclaiming, in a tone something less melodious than
the cry of mackerel or live cod, "By your leave, gentlevolks, I hope
there's no offence, in an honest plain Englishman's coming with money in
his pocket, to taste a bit of your Vrench frigasee and ragooze."
This declaration was made in such a wild, fantastical manner, that the
greatest part of the company mistook him for some savage monster or
maniac, and consulted their safety by starting up from table, and drawing
their swords. The Englishman, seeing such a martial apparatus produced
against him, recoiled two or three steps, saying, "Waunds! a believe the
people are all bewitched. What, do they take me for a beast of prey? is
there nobody here that knows Sir Stentor Stile, or can speak to me in my
own lingo?" He had no sooner pronounced these words, than the baronet,
with marks of infinite surprise, ran towards him, crying, "Good Heaven!
Sir Stentor, who expected to meet with you in Paris?" Upon which, the
other eyeing him very earnestly, "Odds heartlikins!" cried he, "my
neighbour, Sir Giles Squirrel, as I am a living soul!" With these words
he flew upon him like a tiger, kissed him from ear to ear, demolished his
periwig, and disordered the whole economy of his dress, to the no small
entertainment of the company.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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