The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
absolute in its character of a protection,--no matter under what local
jurisdiction,--the claim against England for compensation was as just
an one as ever man could present for man; did she withhold payment, it
must be at her peril.'
"His legal brother now rose, a good-natured smile playing over his
sharp face. Before commencing, he would say he wished his learned
brother had taken a more dispassionate view of the case, and laid down
a basis of broader principles. Much of the difficulty in settling the
many claims that had been presented for adjudication arose from the
fact of his learned brother laying down rules to suit his own case,
which he would not admit when applied against him. Further, he had not
the most faint idea of the nigger question being dragged before this
tribunal for adjudication. He had hoped that that question might be
left for settlement on the soil of America, where those best
acquainted with the evil could most readily find a remedy. But if it
were true that the flag was inviolable, and that such was held as law,
and regarded in good faith by the federal government of the United
States, how came it that certain States in the federal compact so far
disregarded the rule as to scoff at the idea of the flag being
superior to the municipal regulations of the port; invade the decks of
British vessels, regardless of the flag; and drag from beneath its
folds British citizens, whom they incarcerated and made criminals
merely to suit the caprices of a municipal statute? Strange indeed was
it for a nation great as was the American to lay down a principle of
foreign policy the action of which could only be allowed when it
suited the immediate interests of that nation, and was rejected when
it came in collision with them. He would tell the learned
representative of that nation, that the spirit manifested in such a
course to him 'seemed more to comport with that specious style of
conducting business better understood among hucksters!' Here the man
of the American side of the house evinced some excitement, and quickly
rising to his feet, said he would not stand silently by and hear such
imputations cast upon his house, country, and people. The judiciary of
the United States could not be impugned--none was purer; while the
foreign policy of the United States stood out a model for the nations
of Europe to pattern from. A counter interruption again took
place. The Umpire drew a long breath; the good-looking English
Commissioner heaved a sigh, and again commenced amusing himself with
the quill; the sedate American Commissioner yawned, and turned
contemplatively the leaves of a commentary; to end, they all seemed
seized with the yawning fever, which was kept up until they laughed
right earnestly at one another, the handsome gentleman stretching his
arms athwart, and making a hideous grimace. At length this state of
things was put an end to by the Umpire, who did hope gentlemen would
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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