The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
Then he had dark moustaches, which he would gracefully
finger into such an exact curve; and he had his small whiskers so
neatly combed, and every hair on his head lay in unexceptional
smoothness. The legation was not a little proud of Bolt, and on
drawing-room days, when he blazed out in his gold lace and sword,
would delight in watching the many dark, languishing eyes that would
ogle him over the down of gorgeous fans. Bolt was not dead to this
admiration, for we learned, from the constant wandering of his eye,
that he rather appreciated his own popularity. For a lady to say she
did not admire Mr. Secretary Bolt, was strong evidence of her want of
taste. I do not choose to enlighten the world as to how Bolt came to
be Secretary of Legation!' Here the old man would make a desperate
flourish with his crutch, by which I was led to believe that the means
were none of the cleanest; in fact that they were of a character very
similar to those used at this day, and to which may be traced the
cause of certain of Mr. Pierce's diplomatists having so distinguished
themselves in Europe. 'Zounds!' the old man would continue, testily
making a cross on the floor with his crutch, 'a desperate set was soon
made on our Bolt by that little world of fashion and intrigue which,
lizard-like, crawls about our Legations, and did more particularly so
about the one he honored with his handsome person. The Countess of
Longblower, very distinguished (according to the gossip of the
kitchen), and wife of the celebrated Earl of that name, took him at
once into the velvet of her good graces. Here, after a little ripening
at the hands of Samuel, the polite footman in ordinary, he shone out
the star of her small but wonderfully select firmament. There were
suspicious whisperings and some scandal concerning what afterwards
took place between my lady and Bolt; but as scandal and diplomacy
seemed inseparable to an European atmosphere, we as noiselessly as
possible laid the charge at the door of a certain sin.' Here he would
fling down his crutch. 'The Countess's carriage was forever at the
door, waiting the pleasure of Mr. Secretary Bolt; he had a plate
reserved at her table; he was the Adonis of her drawing-room; there
was a seat for him in her opera-box. In the front of the latter,
facing the stately front of her ladyship, one of her sweetest smiles
forced over her hard face, sat the handsome Bolt, now playing with the
tassel of her fan, then passing upon the Cavatina a sort of rosewater
approval. He had a fund of small talk always at hand, and as her
mightiness was extremely fond of such wares, so also did Bolt become a
very agreeable person. The Countess, too, would smile so
condescendingly, and keep up such a conversation with her eyes, now
and then glancing at the Earl, who dozed at a respectful distance in
the rear. If unexpectedly he exhibited signs of consciousness, Bolt
would immediately divert the subject by passing some facetious
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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