The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
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The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"My uncle continued: 'While as many as fifty good gossipers predicted
daily the marriage of Bolt to some aristocratic belle, there came
along a lady of the name of Mrs. Bolt. This person, whose name
Mr. Bolt had been extremely careful not to lisp, caused a desperate
sensation among his admirers. My Lady Longblower was seen to cool away
like liquid tallow, while not a few who had been equally fervent just
before, said it was a very impertinent thing in Mr. Bolt. But as that
gentleman took a more philosophical view of the matter he returned the
compliment by introducing his lady to several of those damsels who had
but a few days before themselves hoped to win his heart. Indeed the
arrival of Mrs. Bolt, though it brought things to a more legitimate
platform, did not in the least lessen his material responsibilities.
Mrs. Bolt must have more fashionable apartments; there was that
splendid diamond bracelet at Peppers'? she must have that rich honitan
cape and accompaniments at Stebbin's? drawing-room day was
approaching, and nothing less than one hundred and fifty guineas would
suffice to purchase the dress she would be presented in; Madame
Lacelooper, milliner and dressmaker to the Court, urged the necessity
of her orders being in at an early day; and she must have that set of
furs at Orchard's, and Mr. Bolt must give a brilliant introduction
party. Many as were the poor fellow's previous wants Mrs. Bolt's
arrival seemed to increase them four-fold. Nor would it have done for
him to have intimated a necessity for retrenchment, inasmuch as she
was equally determined to keep up the dignity of the establishment,
and would not hear a word about limitation in anything. The poor
fellow now began to think a time was coming when his diplomacy would
be put to the test. He, too, had an eye to a little popularity at
home, liked to be thought well of by his fellow-citizens, who, when
abroad invariably want to see all the sights and dine with their
Minister, and to that end gave them dinners and sundry other little
things. Everything except his salary Bolt found enlarged, and as his
time had been principally taken up with the issuing of orders, so was
it thereafter to be arranging certain payments. Isaacs, the Hebrew
gentleman who took corners of advance checks for the convenience of
his very aristocratic friends was seen frequently about the premises,
looking very serious. Six months passed and circumstances were changed
with Bolt. The Countess Longblower no longer permitted him to sit at
her side and play with the poodle; his fair admirers had lost all
their compliments; and it became absolutely necessary that Mrs. Bolt
return to the more humble precincts of her home on the other side of
the water. When Peppers called for that trifle of ninety-seven
guineas--pay for that necklace that shone so about Mrs. Bolt's neck
when at Court--it was curious to see how the genius of Mr. Bolt would
come out; and how in conjunction with Thomas' sagacity quite a comedy
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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